Love to stand on its own 

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i have a dream of a love that transcends all other love. A love where if I am weeping beyond all control a hug, a hand, a kiss, or a smile changes all that. Instantly.

Or a love where I’m having the best day of my life but he and only he can actually make it even more spectular.

All I need is someone who I can goof off with but at the end of the day can hold me close and the love would just radiant off both our bodies. It would fuse into our forever love.

We don’t need fancy cars, or houses. We don’t need fancy clothes or kitchen ware. Although that would be nice I want the love to stand on its own, no frills.

Love as pure as the air I breath.

emptiness? 

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The loneliness inside my soul is a caving, fiery hole. It threatens my joy and invites the darkness. As I draw towards the light, it swallows me back completely unforgiving. It burns deep, not always but it smoothers when it does. It smoothers my mind and I die into a pool of invisible tears I refuse to cry. I’m unable to cry. I wish if I hugged myself it could comfort me. I wish I didn’t collapse so suddenly. One moment I’m strong and the next, I want someone to laugh with. To hold in my arms. To miss. To love. I wake up to greet the day, trying to stop drowning. I get up and recognize that instead of fighting I need to allow these feelings to overwhelm me in order to truly be a whole person. Sometimes there will be pain. But there is joy, I just have to find it.