What do I do with my delusion of love?

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Delusional?
If I saw him today

And he wanted to see me again

My heart would leap

My joy would swell

The tears I produce could fill a well

I would hold on to him

Our hug the only thing that exists

My love persists 
But what about all the bad

The pain he caused 

Do I forgive

Do I try

Do I do it?

Do I comply?
It is my dream to be with him 

But, his cruel side came out

The two sides are there.

I cannot ignore that.
What do I do with my delusion of 

Love?

Ode to Crying

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This is an ode to crying, like in the blazing sun

In a world where

Emotions are a mask for

The true one

 

While sadness is

Hard to diagnose,

Even though you can feel it in your bones

Thanks crying for being an obvious red flag

 

That something’s wrong

Out of place

Lost for a while

Or perhaps lost in time or space

 

Crying, you show courage

Even though you are humiliated, mocked

Keep on crying

Give it all you’ve got

Bottle it up, and then explode

For when people

Go into a lasting shock

 

Thank you crying for your

Salty appeal

For the wounds

You rip open,

Close shut, and miraculously heal.

 

Everyone has unique cry

It is a part of them as shy as they could

About it

Weeping

Screeching

Sobbing

Bawling

Howling

Wailing

Vary from a quiet sob

To wailing eardrum crushing…

 

 

 

 

Crying is an art –

Painting a picture

For the dumb, oblivious,

And the smart

That she loved him from the start

Now she is mangled in knots,

Broken apart

 

He sees her breakdown,

Take that cell phone

Her I-phone and maybe

Break it to bits

Like hitting it with a tazer

But she just flung it against the wall

Creating a sound of breaking metal

And an expression on the fall

The fall on this face

 

It ends now he decides

They reside each alone

The sadness in her heart

Now presides in his too

 

That’s what crying can do,

Bring out the best or worse in you

 

 

Crying you’ve teamed up with shaking

And lost contact with privacy

I have a bruise the shape of a baseball

From shaking and crying,

I expect an apology from you

 

But weeping, crying

When I can’t stop

Starting to burst, pop

Then you’ve gone too far.

I know I have to paint the picture

But break eardrums to, sounds like someone

Just lacerated and murdered my soul.

 

That’s something we could work

On me and you

Less crying,

More laughing?

Show me your dreams :>

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Hello, my name is Doris
This quite quirky movie about finding yourself is not to be missed.

From the very beginning its like you are being kissed.

Kissed with vibrant color and hope and love

Hope from her home and her mother above

Doris inspires in this film so much

You can almost sense a touch

Of life changing moments when you perceive

What sorts of things Doris can achieve

I won’t ruin the ending

Go see it for yourself

Don’t be a dusty being sitting on a shelf

Dust yourself off and watch this show!

What are you waiting for?

Go!

Be my eyes : poetic review

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Eye in the sky

How far you fly

So many wouldn’t suffer

So hundreds wouldn’t die

Never tell a solider he doesn’t know The cost of war

Alan Rickman was brilliant

And he knows so much more

The tense scenes incite

The frustration starts a fight

Between great minds

About the casualties of war

And about how much

One life is worth.

How much is one life worth?

Watch this movie and decide.

From terrorism we want to run and hide.

We must act like in this film

But consider the repercussions

And the value of a life

Be my eyes

Standard

Eye in the sky

How far you fly

So many wouldn’t suffer

So hundreds wouldn’t die

Never tell a solider he doesn’t know The cost of war

Alan Rickman was brilliant

And he knows so much more

The tense scenes incite

The frustration starts a fight

Between great minds

About the casualties of war

And about how much

One life is worth.

How much is one life worth?

Watch this movie and decide.

From terrorism we want to run and hide.

We must act like in this film

But consider the repercussions

And the value of a life

Show me your dreams :>

Standard

Hello, my name is Doris
This quite quirky movie about finding yourself is not to be missed.

From the very beginning its like you are being kissed.

Kissed with vibrant color and hope and love

Hope from her home and her mother above

Doris inspires in this film so much

You can almost sense a touch

Of life changing moments when you perceive 

What sorts of things Doris can achieve 

I won’t ruin the ending

Go see it for yourself 

Don’t be a dusty being sitting on a shelf

Dust yourself off and watch this show!

What are you waiting for?

Go!

Still burning

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Agony pain burning fires
In my brain
In my body
In my heart
I can’t put the fire out
Water doesn’t work
I thought I could drown it in tears

But that increases the flames

Like my tears are gasoline
I thought I could suffocate it
With my sweater
But instead
It suffocates me.
Smoke, fire, flames bursting through my heart.
Suddenly a dangerous explosion
My heart’s a million tiny pieces
Shattered, scattered
I finally put the fire out
Superhuman strength appears

I say no more as the music blares
Strong resolve to survive
but the damage of the fire
It is overwhelming
It’s burning pain I can still feel
The shock of the smoke
Collapses my lungs
The sadness of joy turned into sparks
Sparks of absolute agony
The fire was uninviting torture

Torture and hell
Truly it was the deepest level of hell
I felt pain in places I didn’t know I could
Now the charred remains will get off this train
After class
After talking to Ethan
After help from Heidi
After wisdom from Janet and Glendalyn
After tea with Bella
I walk to go shower
My charred self
Recovering what I can
Abandoning the rest
And recalling how high the flames got

And praying that no one can hurt me that deeply again…
Knowing they could.
Off to shower, drink coffee and pretend everything is fine.
Until it is.

A few days have past but pain is raw

I invite love, I fear love

Was it ever love at all? Is a one sided one, love at all?

Until then, the fire is out, but I still ache from the flames.

My heart is ruptured and I want to heal.

I listen to the music, and I begin.