When my head is spinning in madness 

Standard

When my head is spinning in madness 

I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts 

I’ve been trying desperately to turn off the switches

I’ve been trying to lock the cage and throw the key into the abyss

I’ve been putting out the flames in vain

I’ve been drowning in this flood 

By allowing the thoughts to flow I am 

By allowing the thoughts to flow I exist

By allowing the thoughts to live 

I can train them and be in control

I can call the shots and usurp their power.

The leader is me.

What if…

Standard

What if he said yes

I like you the best
What if he said no

I do not like you so…
What if you will never know?

Which is worse?
Bad news, good news, or no news?
The worst is smiling at him

And never knowing what if anything

He feels for me…
It’s heartbreaking to not know

I cannot say anything 

Except what if 
What if he said yes 

I like you best.
What if?

Her

Standard

When first seeing the trailer for Her, I was so intrigued. I felt such a real life vibe from the beginning of this film. Within minutes, I felt in my soul that this would be something special. Theodore our main character says “It suddenly hit me that I was part of this larger thing, before I thought I knew everything.” Theodore works for BeautifulHandwrittenLetters.com. He is a sensitive, complicated man who appears deeply troubled. Suddenly his life changes dramatically when he purchases an OS (operating system) that becomes more than he could have every imagined. We soon discover “it’s not just an operating system, it’s a consciousness.” Samantha is the name of Theodore’s OS and after his meaningless phone sex session which points at his loneliness and profound deep to be close to another human being devoid of meaning. In an instance, Theodore is in this trance and Samantha says that she evolves just like he does. This movie is breathtaking and stunning as I contemplating the likelihood of this ever occurring in real life. I do not say these things lightly, for this film’s emotion touched me deeply. It was so refreshing to see a man struggle in his emotions and daily life and when we find out he is in the midst of a divorce, it feels like the breakdown of one relationship and the formation of another one. As he takes his OS on adventures through beaches and snow, we are left with many questions, such as how does their sex life work? Samantha asks a question that brings my mind to another world, “What’s it is like to be alive in that room right now?” I never for a second thought I would feel sympathy for the computer. I felt the pain in the restrictions in the relationship but Joaquin Phoenix was a dream in this film. Theodore’s friend Amy also goes through a divorce and they lean on each other for support. This raw emotion of a man’s pain was unbearable at times but despite the divorce Samantha says something remarkable to Theodore, “We’re only here briefly so while I’m here I want to allow myself joy.” I truly felt this movie was painful, heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once. If you are going to rent a movie, do yourself a favor and rent, Her. You will not be disappointed or devoid of feeling. It will change the way you see the world, and that is what I can say to see this movie!

A stream of conscious sensation   

Standard

The extreme, powerful, self destructive, limitless, smothering, and abundance of love:
Sensation.

Its grasp for better or worse you cannot escape

Angry, rage, happiness, bliss, lust, love, end.

A perfectly shocking range in changes of sensations

Spectrums, rainbows

Feelings that will beat you black and blue

And all the other colors in between just as vivid

Leaving marks on your heart
The condensation of emotions are
Waters droplets of pure
Jubilation and utter aghast
And penetration of a feeling
Coming through

Many levels and kinds of feelings

Such Powerful Feeling
Its implodes my senses and I’m almost numb

The passion the pain flows freely
From each and every one of my cells
Visually sensation explodes in my brain
The art work created causes arguments in my brain.

Sensation

 

Sleep seems inconceivable

But I must sleep

Sensations heartlessly pounding at my brain

All fives sense slammed by this coming hug

 

His smell

His touch

Taste?

Sound?

That’s my preparation for sensation

My own interpretation

 

Struggles to sleep
Odd sensation of the wanting of what you simply cannot having
Grasping for food, sleep, love, survival
The ability to exist
And be happy in your mere existence
So tiny yet so remarkable you are
Millions of individuals

Billions!
Feel sensation
An algorithm should be created to
Amass all the sensation.
How can actually I express all the sensations I feel with words?

Language is so unbelievably inadequate.

Touch of hot or cold
Shockwaves sent from my hand to my brain
Touch of love
A simple hug is much more complicated when I feel love
It came, as if from a dream…

Butterflies flutter tumultuously in my stomach
Burning urges cause flames
Flames of passion
Sometimes the embers die
The love, tainted or gone
And the charred remains of
My body remain
But the memory of that sensation
That hug…

Seeing that charming painting
Wearing that warm, comfortable dress

Smelling that delicious coffee

Hearing the birds way off in the distant

Tasting that chocolate cake
Sensation

Sensationalism
The media of shocking information
The exaggeration of images
Confuse and fascinate at the same time.

Then there is love.
The paradox of love and being loved
I have loved with my whole heart
Now my heart is filled with holes
The not being loved back was so painful
The accusations of never caring were the worst
I at least wanted him to know I loved him
That would be enough
It would have to be.
But, it was not meant to be.
For now I have sensations of love towards things like coffee.
Or my family.
Or God.

Friends, Shimer, and Falafel, all sensational things.
They are different times for, different types of sensation
All senses are involved

Trying to awake from a deep sleep

Trying to come back from a dream

Trying to escape slumber and excite my real senses
My brain and body want different things

One waits stillness, the other wants movement

Struggling to wake up

The shock of no longer dream land
A most odd sensation …

Stream of Conscious Sensation

Standard

The extreme, powerful, self destructive, limitless, smothering, and abundance of love:
Sensation.

Its grasp for better or worse you cannot escape

Angry, rage, happiness, bliss, lust, love, end.

A perfectly shocking range in changes of sensations

Spectrums, rainbows

Feelings that will beat you black and blue

And all the other colors in between just as vivid

Leaving marks on your heart
The condensation of emotions are
Waters droplets of pure
Jubilation and utter aghast
And penetration of a feeling
Coming through

Many levels and kinds of feelings

Such Powerful Feeling
Its implodes my senses and I’m almost numb

The passion the pain flows freely
From each and every one of my cells
Visually sensation explodes in my brain
The art work created causes arguments in my brain.

Sensation

 

Sleep seems inconceivable

But I must sleep

Sensations heartlessly pounding at my brain

All fives sense slammed by this coming hug

 

His smell

His touch

Taste?

Sound?

That’s my preparation for sensation

My own interpretation

 

Struggles to sleep
Odd sensation of the wanting of what you simply cannot having
Grasping for food, sleep, love, survival
The ability to exist
And be happy in your mere existence
So tiny yet so remarkable you are
Millions of individuals

Billions!
Feel sensation
An algorithm should be created to
Amass all the sensation.
How can actually I express all the sensations I feel with words?

Language is so unbelievably inadequate.

Touch of hot or cold
Shockwaves sent from my hand to my brain
Touch of love
A simple hug is much more complicated when I feel love
It came, as if from a dream…

Butterflies flutter tumultuously in my stomach
Burning urges cause flames
Flames of passion
Sometimes the embers die
The love, tainted or gone
And the charred remains of
My body remain
But the memory of that sensation
That hug…

Seeing that charming painting
Wearing that warm, comfortable dress

Smelling that delicious coffee

Hearing the birds way off in the distant

Tasting that chocolate cake
Sensation

Sensationalism
The media of shocking information
The exaggeration of images
Confuse and fascinate at the same time.

Then there is love.
The paradox of love and being loved
I have loved with my whole heart
Now my heart is filled with holes
The not being loved back was so painful
The accusations of never caring were the worst
I at least wanted him to know I loved him
That would be enough
It would have to be.
But, it was not meant to be.
For now I have sensations of love towards things like coffee.
Or my family.
Or God.

Friends, Shimer, and Falafel, all sensational things.
They are different times for, different types of sensation
All senses are involved

Trying to awake from a deep sleep

Trying to come back from a dream

Trying to escape slumber and excite my real senses
My brain and body want different things

One waits stillness, the other wants movement

Struggling to wake up

The shock of no longer dream land
A most odd sensation …