Confess

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I message you full of cheer because I want to make you smile
I think about you working too hard and I’m sad
I daydream about you walking through the windy city
I think about how long it’s been since we saw each other
I think about your mischievous smile
I recall your stunning eyes, no other eyes compare and
The way they used to look at me (maybe I imagined it)
The way you always protected me because you are a kind person
The way you always took me places and just talked to me
The way you could make me laugh and blush
The way you listened to me, it made my world so full of joy I could burst
The way you went through all my school books when we met
On that freezing cold day in the coffee shop
The way you answered all the quiz bowl questions, it was a breeze for you
The way you ordered me wine one time, and now that’s the only wine I drink
I think about how you took me to the soccer game even though you were sick
I think about how you took me to my school so I would know how to get there
I think about your perfectly pressed suits and your vividly colorful bow ties
I think about your Halloween costume and your brown leather brief case
I think about us sitting next to each other in American Lit years ago
And I wonder this :

Should I confess how when you walk into a room time stops and I can’t breath?
Should I confess how much I want to you to kiss me?
Should I confess how badly I want to be held in your arms?
Should I confess how when your eyes sparkle my heart sings?
Should I confess how I think you are my soul mate?

I must, I must but I can’t
I’m scared
I’m too scared of the outcome
So instead the circle continues
I message you full of cheer because I want to
I think about you working too hard and I’m sad
I daydream about you walking through the windy city
I think about how long it’s been since we saw each other…

Confess, I have to confess how I feel
Only then could our love be real

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