I’ll love you in the snow…


I’ll love you in the snow

I’ll love you on the beach

I’ll love you in the water

I’ll love you on the land

I’ll love you no matter where I go

I will say this speech

I’ll love you in the park

I’ll love you in the store

I’ll love you until I can love no more

Then I will still love you because it’s all I know

This deep love that swallows me whole

I’ll love you when I bowl

I’ll love you when I sleep

I’ll love you when I brush my teeth

I’ll love you when I sing

I’ll love you as I sip coffee

I’ll love you when I dance

I’ll love you when I cry

I’ll love you in advance

I’ll love you when I hike

I’ll love you when I ride my bike

I’ll love you when I eat burgers and cheese fries

I’ll love you while I organize the library

I’ll love you when I read

I’ll love you when I get a job and move out and succeed

I’ll love you until I’m numb and blue

I’ll love you forever

That’s how long I’ll love you

I’ll love you when I garden

When I dress the Christmas tree

I’ll love you when I shovel snow

I’ll love you with such glee

I’ll love you when I clean

I’ll love you when I watch football

I’ll love you while I pray

I’ll love you while I shop

And I will never stop

I’ll love you when all the lights are out and there’s the approaching dawn

I’ll love you until the end of time is gone

And if you love me in return

I could learn to love even more

When our souls interlock

The love will be a shock of energy

My life anew

All because no matter where I am

I will always love you


White Noise


to speak for
a cause that’s true to you heart
where did sadness come from
where did it all start?
you speak to the choir
they don’t want to be preached to
you try to begin but
among all those others
you don’t know who to trust
wind up thinking that
it’s all just white noise
does that mean no one cares?

The Forgotten Ode (to eyes)


Ode to Eyes

Oh eyes

Azure, chestnut, hazel, green

Red, irritated, lighting up the scene

Although a mouth can lie deceit

Eyes tell it bluntly, complete


Oh Eyes

The way you long for colors prisms

For beauty or disaster

I praise you for both

The tears running faster


Oh eyes, I decorate you

With a rich pink

Or pale blue or nude eye shadow

Only other throw on eyeliner, mascara, and more

Giving girls many trips to the store


Oh eyes

They’re what I fell in love with first

Although now I believe love to be cursed

Because although I try to let go

Your chestnut eyes won’t let me do so


Oh eyes

You help memory process events

Pretty people in pretty cars

Lost love, lust, movie stars

Or just someone trying to have something to live for.

Please Vote


Don’t quote

Trump’s false facts

Don’t despise our country

Although I’m embarrassed for this country

A sad state of affairs

Don’t let that lead to apathy


For everything our Founding Father fought for

Remember that we must vote!

Vote because it’s dangerous not to

Vote because you care


Vote to save us for ourselves.

(Also, you may dislike both candidates. I understand. Still, the duty to vote !)



But what if there’s more to us?


I despair so I type.

He responds swiftly.

Kindly, gently, but firmly.

I make the tea,

I cry the tears.

“You can’t cry forever”.

It’s not mean, it’s true.

I know it comes from trying to help.

So, I wash my face.

I watch House of Cards.

I finish my laundry.

When I mediate

I do as he said

And I almost fall asleep

Not a care in the world, all of a sudden this shift.

After I type this

I will tell him

How magical the mediation he suggested was

I care

I care so much

I care so very much

I don’t want to lose a friend

I want him to know how I feel because

But what if there’s more to us?

A stream of conscious sensation   


The extreme, powerful, self destructive, limitless, smothering, and abundance of love:

Its grasp for better or worse you cannot escape

Angry, rage, happiness, bliss, lust, love, end.

A perfectly shocking range in changes of sensations

Spectrums, rainbows

Feelings that will beat you black and blue

And all the other colors in between just as vivid

Leaving marks on your heart
The condensation of emotions are
Waters droplets of pure
Jubilation and utter aghast
And penetration of a feeling
Coming through

Many levels and kinds of feelings

Such Powerful Feeling
Its implodes my senses and I’m almost numb

The passion the pain flows freely
From each and every one of my cells
Visually sensation explodes in my brain
The art work created causes arguments in my brain.



Sleep seems inconceivable

But I must sleep

Sensations heartlessly pounding at my brain

All fives sense slammed by this coming hug


His smell

His touch



That’s my preparation for sensation

My own interpretation


Struggles to sleep
Odd sensation of the wanting of what you simply cannot having
Grasping for food, sleep, love, survival
The ability to exist
And be happy in your mere existence
So tiny yet so remarkable you are
Millions of individuals

Feel sensation
An algorithm should be created to
Amass all the sensation.
How can actually I express all the sensations I feel with words?

Language is so unbelievably inadequate.

Touch of hot or cold
Shockwaves sent from my hand to my brain
Touch of love
A simple hug is much more complicated when I feel love
It came, as if from a dream…

Butterflies flutter tumultuously in my stomach
Burning urges cause flames
Flames of passion
Sometimes the embers die
The love, tainted or gone
And the charred remains of
My body remain
But the memory of that sensation
That hug…

Seeing that charming painting
Wearing that warm, comfortable dress

Smelling that delicious coffee

Hearing the birds way off in the distant

Tasting that chocolate cake

The media of shocking information
The exaggeration of images
Confuse and fascinate at the same time.

Then there is love.
The paradox of love and being loved
I have loved with my whole heart
Now my heart is filled with holes
The not being loved back was so painful
The accusations of never caring were the worst
I at least wanted him to know I loved him
That would be enough
It would have to be.
But, it was not meant to be.
For now I have sensations of love towards things like coffee.
Or my family.
Or God.

Friends, Shimer, and Falafel, all sensational things.
They are different times for, different types of sensation
All senses are involved

Trying to awake from a deep sleep

Trying to come back from a dream

Trying to escape slumber and excite my real senses
My brain and body want different things

One waits stillness, the other wants movement

Struggling to wake up

The shock of no longer dream land
A most odd sensation …

My Cluttered, Chaotic, and occasionally Exqusite Life


I’m a warm, fresh Giordano’s pizza after a patient four hour wait at the clamorous airport, as uninviting as it is.

I’m freezing green jello.

I am a frustration that shatters mirrors and hearts; all’s fair in love and war, right?

The crushing ocean waves mirror my mood, my eyes penetrating the sands of time.

I’m that first bite of a gorgeous apple you realize is rotten.

I am a golden morning that involves the first cereal I grab that was five unbelievable months overdue.

So essentially, I’m an alley cat with a measly eight lives left and a bruised ego you can feel all the way in your heart.

I’m an ancient computer that loves the overpowering smell of Windex and a sudden burst of fresh air from a window that was here before my parents.

I’m the overwhelming smell of coffee black as death and the once revolting now pleasant  smell of mushrooms before a Bears game.

I’m Ree Drummond’s voice, Kelly Ripa’s smile, and Anderson Cooper’s stare; multiple personalities are right up my alley.

I’m six brightly colored Spongbob balloons popping.

I’m my baby cousin’s 6th birthday party, the warmth of the broken air conditioning could never ruin his everlasting smile, and even with missing teeth it’s perfect.

I’m the one that always gets phrases thrown in my soft, smooth, and lonely face; “To nie jest teraz wazne” (“that’s not what’s important right now”).

I’m left to crawl away, the kind of crawl and creeping a prisoner makes on the way to his final resting place.

I’m exquisite, raspy cars voicing that there’s trouble a-brewing.

I’m those dreadful screeching brakes which lead me to discover the “bast***s Mercedes was a young kid like me, and now I’m petrified.

I’m Edith Grandham, a famous character whom it seems I can relate to.

I’m in the threshold tunneling forward, in between, lost in a dream.

Although, I am Edith, my judgment of intense emotions is even more guarded; I have a blood hound guarding my heart right now.

I’m powerful Poland (Chicago too) but Poland is more Maria-esque and “my kind of place” (Sinatra).

I’m unforgettable, but sometimes you wish you could disregard me.

I’m a  captivating movie or music quote.

I can memorize long and short songs and movie lines, anything from Harry Potter to Will Ferrell and music that gently puts a “pair of wings on the human spirit”. (Sinatra)

I am the green face of envy, looking at all the things I can’t have; some I need like shorts for those sizzling summer days, but then others like that little black Land Rover I’m inclined to pursue until I get it.

I’m learning to use the table saw and carrying the twelve foot ladder myself.

I’m a rock star painter, but stripping screws is my specialty.

I’m only as strong, valiant, and self- controlled as I believe I can be.

I’m the look on people’s faces when everyone comes together, as a family, in crew – we

Create something just short of pure magic on stage.

I’m an ordinary book that takes you to extraordinary heights.

I’m buttery popcorn and two kernels away from a coronary.

I’m wet nails once forced on me by my superiors, now I adore them.

I’m an Oreo McFlurry, a cherry Jolly Rancher, Belgium waffles and a broken heart.

I’m a luscious, melting grilled cheese sandwich, pierogi, gourmet soup from Panera.

I’m People’s Court and Big Bang Theory, and the ten o’clock news to finish.

But Mostly I’m Maria.

I’m completely random and sometimes nerve wrecking.

I am what I want to be and no one or anything else.

I’m appreciating things while you still can.

I’m the accumulation of a gradual but destructive overload.

I’m a rare gem, but a common name.

I’m Sleeping Beauty trapped in a deep sleep – lost in time. Lost in time, which begs the question, can you find me?