Don’t you dare love me, Don’t you dare help me, but hold me as I do


Beneath the sheets
Beneath the layers
Beneath the content nature
Of me
Beneath the conversation
Beneath my calm demeanor
Of me
Is someone searching
Is someone swimming
Is someone diving
For meaning
Behind the smile
Behind the laughter
Behind the banter
Behind the neat, tidy, polite, loving me
Lies chaos
Lies flames and fires
Lies fear
Lies regret
I’m a jumble of pieces
That equate to my soul
I want to figure it out myself
Don’t you dare try
Don’t you dare help
I need to desperately do this for myself
Don’t you dare care about me
Don’t you dare love me
I don’t want to take you
Shake you
Break you
It’s too late though
I know you do
Your stare
Your glare
Your grin
You soak me in
Much to my chagrin
You don’t just allow me
You want my jumble of pieces
A part of your whole
Don’t you dare help me
But you can hold me as I do


She is wildfires


Once upon a time there was a young women.
She was in college, she was in confusion.

She was… chaos.
She was… crashing waves.
Couldn’t be saved so
She saved herself.
With some help
Now she’s beautiful, remarkable chaos.
Pounding rain
Now she’s the embodiment
Of having love on the brain.
She is old, creased pages
She is organization
She is triumphant celebration
She is thunder,
She is clarity,
She is wildfires.
And once she spreads
You will never get her image, her life, her joy
Out of your spinning head.

Now that he’s won what has he done? A call for calm, but a call to act


All the polls were so unbelievably wrong 

Somehow he has won 

(No, I didn’t just wake up, although I wish I could from this nightmare)

I’m not being bitter or a sore loser

I’m worried about this beautiful country, about the state of the union the state of the United States 

Now that he has won, what has he done?

It’s mayhem and massive diplomatic mistakes that make headlines 

It’s sad, impulsive, insulting early morning tweets that make news 

Tweets do nothing but cause more trouble and distract from our point of attack

I call to us all to act, I call to action 

I don’t know what we can do

But something has be done

The lawmakers aren’t doing nearly enough 

And I know many of us have had enough

I say, we make sure that all people know he’s a fraud and not a man of honor or a man that respects others

So I ask: it’s do or die: speak up

Not just for now, but for the future of this country and its people 

Organized Chaos


There are so many things to do this particular morning

Shower, help out, wash dishes, water plants, feed the fish

I should make lists more often

Without my handy list

Chaos descends

It’s not that it’s so much, it’s just happening so quickly

I walk a brisk pace, I pace waiting for the coffee, I run at points

Two cups of glorious coffee

And I continue with my day

Things start to come together but there’s more to do

Laundry, phone calls from various places

Suddenly Hannah calls

It’s joyous and calm.

And for a few minutes I can take a break

And then my thoughts are organized

Although the day is not

It descends into Organized Chaos

Coffee and pondering


I try to blog, create

It’s excitement and a release

The phone calls all morning

The chores piling up

It’s a balancing act

I swept all the grass

After my brother mowed the lawns

To make the outside look nice

To make my mom happy

I am happy to help

I washed the dishes and myself

A shower is a breath of fresh air

As many times as I am interrupted,

I think

What will my blog be?

Coffee and pondering so far…