Sweet lullabies of love

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I pull on my Valentine’s Day sweater with care

The one with different colored lipstick kisses that makes me smile

I paint my nails a deep red

I send out wishes to all my family

I eat my oatmeal

Love my body with goodness

That’s my Valentine’s Day

I am grateful that I have so much love in my life

And one day soon

I will swoon

Over him

And my Valentine’s Day

Will include a romantic dinner

Roses or lilies

And most importantly

Someone that loves me with their entire heart

We will cuddle we will kiss

The won’t be a hint that I miss

We will romance

We will dance

We will appreciate the little things

We will hear our hearts sing

Sweet lullabies of love

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Is it human nature to desire more?

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Silent early Sunday mornings

I sit all alone and I ponder

Sipping warm coffee

My mind begins to wonder

I’m drawn back to my dream

All though I only recall fragments

I know in it your face did gleam

I wonder about football

I wonder about war

I think about the game and who will score

I think about devastation of fire and ice destroying our nation

I would if I can take it anymore

My mind racing with these thoughts

I hope it slows but it will not

I ponder death and immortality

I ponder what it will be like when I have a family

What will my husband be like

Will he be the man of my dreams

Will he be kind and understanding

And loving and respectful

And a good father?

Will my children grow up happy and healthy?

Will I be a good mother?

Think about a garden

Think about a place

Where I’m not crying with tears burning up my face

About movies and romance

About whether or not I have a chance

Of a happy ending of my own

I wonder about God

About a job

About an apartment

About life after college

And when it will go my way

I should be grateful with what I have today

But is it human nature to desire something greater

To think about what you might want later

I am happy but I’m not content

I feel like I’ve spent

Too much time

And I want to spend the present and future

In a way that I’ll gain

All the dreams created by my sometimes awesome brain

My old self again

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You said

I love you

But you don’t

You said we would meet soon

But we won’t

You promise me things

That make my heart sing

But now there’s a ring

A wake up call

That you never really loved me at all

You used my body like a toy

Although we never met I don’t have any joy

Because you took it from me with your lies

Every time you say things

Something inside me dies

And my anguish multiples

So I will stop myself from hurt

Wipe the tears with my shirt

And realize I deserve so much more

That feeling like I can’t breath anymore

You suffocated me with false truths and deep alternative facts

Now to keep myself intact

I leave you

You are not wrong

But you are not right for me

We can never work don’t you see

You don’t love you just want to force me

Into your sick fantasy

I was fooled once but not again

And when does this end when?

It ends now!

I’m walking away from the situation

But I do not find jubilation

I am hurt and I must heal

But to my heart you will not appeal

Because I want someone genuine and real

My happiness you will no longer steal

That’s it, you’re gone

Now that I’m

Going to be alone I can deal

With my feelings and find a decent man

That will never make me compromise on who I am

Now I rest and I’m looking forward to feeling happy safe

I’m looking forward to my new life

And I’m excited to be

My old self again

And off into the twilight we walked…

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Shielded from great harm

You were more than the alarm

That carried my through thick, choking smoke

You lifted me out and you nearly perished

Trying to rescue my soul

From the flames

Some would declare you insane

But no matter how big the flames got

I know I have a love that simply can’t be bought

I knew you loved me a lot

But I never knew you loved me this much

As our bodies touch

Your strong arms envelope me in a warm embrace

I think the world I know can face

Because when my world was on fire

You protected me from it

That’s something I will never get

I will never understand your sacrifice

And how anything I give back could suffice

I will never quite see

Why you protected me

When you have everything to lose

And nothing to gain

I try but I can’t refrain

From sobbing desperate tears

Because my greatest fears

Have disappeared

And what remains is you

You took me from harm’s way

And it’s in your gentle, firm arms that I want to stay

Can it be this way forever?

Where we are stronger together

Where our love is strong and true

Where you say I don’t have to repay you

You say I already did

I’m thinking you just kid

You look at me with serious eyes

And to my surprise you say

It’s all the little things you do, Maria that go such a long way

You remember the nights that I cooked dinner

You remember how I said you didn’t have to be thinner, that I loved you just the way you are

You recall when I saved you the last piece of pecan pie

You say so many reasons why

You say I bought you a special book

And everywhere you went you took it

You said have a look

And sure I enough what did I see

But a rare copy of The Great Gatsby

He continued to name all thing I did and and as he began to reminisce

I decided and stole the perfect, passionate kiss

He only grinned longingly

And off into the twilight we walked

Him and me

My favorite plaid shirt

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Deep red, almost crimson and navy checkered pattern

So soft and irresistibly comfy against my body

Smooth cream buttons down my chest

Delicate, smooth collar and the top button open

Exposing some skin, letting it breathe

Calm floods my entire body from warmth

Comfort overwhelms my soul

Never want this feeling to end

Want this feeling to keep me whole

Envelope me with joy

Fractured wrist, forehead kiss: Love

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Fractured wrist

Forehead kissed

Carried to safety

We didn’t drive far (to the ER)

You pushed me away from a swerving car

It’s just the strength of who you are

You risked you life to save mine

If you hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be fine

I’d be a goner, a spirit, a ghost

What I like the most

Is that’s how we met

It’s a moment in Time I will never forget

The feeling of Christmas deep inside my heart

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In my mind I just couldn’t conceive

How quickly it became Christmas Eve

The cookies have been baked

There’s more cooking still to do

There’s many more people to say I love you

To my entire family

A deep love strong as can be

This time of year

Causes me to reflect on all I hold dear

I love the carols, cookies, and vivid colors that surround me

I love all the joy so I wrap it carefully

In rich crimson, deep green, and glittering gold

Because the spirit of Christmas has made me daring, made me bold

Everyone still asleep

In their beds and dreaming deep

But I’m up because I’m filled with delight

That’s it’s the night before

Jesus being born away in a manger

What could be stranger than my thoughts

They bring to the fact that I’m alone and not in love

I want to be but it won’t come

So I hum a Christmas tune

I’ve been humming since late June

In hopes that next year

The man I love will be right here

But until then my family and friends

Give me unconditional love that truly is boundless and never ends

So on this eve

I do believe

I’m very blessed

To get off my chest

The way I feel

Because it’s so surreal

The feeling of Christmas deep inside my heart