One day you will see me

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One day when you see me

When you really see me

Against the glow of the night

When I hold you so very tight

Until I hope with all my might

That one day you’ll see me

One day I’ll wear my hair down

One day I wear a beautiful gown

We’ll go all around town

And one day you’ll see me

If only I were enough now

In my jeans and soft gray sweater

And jokes and laughs and delight

We’d stay up cracking up all night

If we could spend an afternoon together

Despite the frigid cold weather

Then we could finally be together

And then you’ll see me

You’ll see my joy, my hope, my fears, my flaws, my strength, and hope you’ll want me still

You’ll want me for who I am

The way I want you, need you, dream about you

But until then

I lay awake

Deep breaths I take

Thinking of your jokes, your laugh

Your adorable dog and hard working character

Your blonde hair and beautiful eyes

I’ve seen you all this time

And made ever effort I could

To be open and vulnerable to you

So I wonder and question what will be

The biggest question in my heart:

Will you ever see me?

Sweet lullabies of love

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I pull on my Valentine’s Day sweater with care

The one with different colored lipstick kisses that makes me smile

I paint my nails a deep red

I send out wishes to all my family

I eat my oatmeal

Love my body with goodness

That’s my Valentine’s Day

I am grateful that I have so much love in my life

And one day soon

I will swoon

Over him

And my Valentine’s Day

Will include a romantic dinner

Roses or lilies

And most importantly

Someone that loves me with their entire heart

We will cuddle we will kiss

The won’t be a hint that I miss

We will romance

We will dance

We will appreciate the little things

We will hear our hearts sing

Sweet lullabies of love

A new success, a new hope is near

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In April I became a college graduate

It was truly a challenge

But I never once quit

No matter the challenge I never gave up

Of course there were times where I had enough

And sometimes I wouldn’t even know why

I would shut down, break down and cry

But all the fears

From all those years

Melted away

As I made my way

Across the stage

And as I grabbed my diploma

I turned the page

Wild success

I wore my new dress

Because I have backed down

I knew that with my illness

There was a greater fight

I worked tirelessly every day and every night

I kept a schedule and I slept

I achieved my goal of my greatness goal which was a degree

Now the job struggle is real

Sometimes I think I cannot deal

But I recall all the things I did to get here

And I now a new success, a new hope is near

If I work hard, prayer harder, and think smarter

I will have a new chapter appear

I didn’t work so hard just to quit

I am a woman of sharp wit

So I will buckle down and no matter what happens now

I vow that I will

Keep on going and more still

When I fail and fall I will get back up

Dust myself off, ice the bruises

Because Maria Pondo never loses

While fighting the good fight

And while doing that my heart will ignite!

Because I have you

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I could use some loving

The kind that is real and true

I could use some loving

Will it be from you?

I could use some loving and I don’t know what I’ll do

Because I’m fading fast

From that love him once gave me that wasn’t true

There was no love only poison which I drank

I drank down his words

So the lower I sank

Now my mind is blank

Except for thoughts that were untrue

Now I’m a little blue

But I’ll get over him too

I could use some loving

From someone who actually means it

Someone who isn’t just a good fit

Someone who really cares and understands

Someone to hold my face in their hands

And show me real love

Not falsehoods and ulterior motives

Just be gentle and genuine

Be my lover but also my best friend

Only then can we have no end

And withstand any storm

Because our fierce love will keep us warm

Keep us safe from harm

Because it was you that did charm me

Because I could use some loving

And you knew

So you held on tightly and stuck like glue

After all that you are, all that you do

I no longer need anything

Because I have you

Is it human nature to desire more?

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Silent early Sunday mornings

I sit all alone and I ponder

Sipping warm coffee

My mind begins to wonder

I’m drawn back to my dream

All though I only recall fragments

I know in it your face did gleam

I wonder about football

I wonder about war

I think about the game and who will score

I think about devastation of fire and ice destroying our nation

I would if I can take it anymore

My mind racing with these thoughts

I hope it slows but it will not

I ponder death and immortality

I ponder what it will be like when I have a family

What will my husband be like

Will he be the man of my dreams

Will he be kind and understanding

And loving and respectful

And a good father?

Will my children grow up happy and healthy?

Will I be a good mother?

Think about a garden

Think about a place

Where I’m not crying with tears burning up my face

About movies and romance

About whether or not I have a chance

Of a happy ending of my own

I wonder about God

About a job

About an apartment

About life after college

And when it will go my way

I should be grateful with what I have today

But is it human nature to desire something greater

To think about what you might want later

I am happy but I’m not content

I feel like I’ve spent

Too much time

And I want to spend the present and future

In a way that I’ll gain

All the dreams created by my sometimes awesome brain

Only human

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I feel horrible pain

I feel close to insane

It’s harming my brain

I weep

My heart leaps

I fall and bleed but

I often succeed

I smile and nod

I wonder about God

I run 5 miles

That makes me smile

I sometimes hike

I ride my bike until I take flight

I unite friends

The fun never gets ends

I eat

I wash my entire body what a feat

I think I dream

I feel pain physically and emotionally

I’m only human

Could you love this young woman

Who you seem to think

Is invincible

But really

Hurts like everyone else

Because I’m only human

Despite what you think

Eventually we all sink

To the level that we are

That we are meant to be

I may be strong and capable of wonder

Realize this please

And then we can both be at ease

That I’m only human