Today I’m saying goodbye

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Drained of all air

You’re my greatest nightmare

Because at night I’m filled with dread and fright

Even though you’re not there

I still care and I’m scared

I let you in my life

And it cuts like a knife

That you won’t let me go

I said we shouldn’t be together but you said oh no

You tried to make me stay

You tried so things would go your way

Not today

Today I’m saying goodbye

To all your lies

To all false truths

To all forced things

To saying you love me

But making fun of me

By saying hurtful things

By not giving me straight answers

By saying there’s no one our there for me

All manipulation

Imagine my jubilation

Once I heal

Once you’re gone

Because without you

I’ll live it up a little more every day

I’m already seeing myself so differently

Just let go of me

And if you don’t

I’m going to cut the cord

I will leave

I will be strong

Your cruel words won’t be heard long

I cannot wait to be free

And find the opposite of you

Someone who lets me be me

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As real as the stars

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When will the time come

When will it be true

That I’ve found the one

Who won’t make me blue

Who will take my dreams

And give them flight

Who I will cling to as they hold me tight

When I’m at library

When I’m in church

When I’m at a theater

When I’m on a walk

When I’m hiking

When will it be?

When will I meet you and you meet me?

Will it be tomorrow or today

How will this play out?

I don’t know

But I know you’re out there

In the rain and snow

When I find you

Off to the sunset

We’ll go

Then I’ll have a true muse

Only then once I actually can touch you

When I’ll never have too much of you

Then

I’ll write about you

The great poems with a purpose now

With a subject matter not invented

With one that is real as the stars

I hope they are tears of joy …

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Cold, salty, and hopelessly wet

Doused with deep regret

No I can’t stop them yet

From falling down my face

Nothing can replace

The feeling when I felt safe with you

The feeling was strong and true

You betrayed me like all guys do

But I know you’re not all like that

I know you’re not all to blame

I know that my ex wanted to partake in a love game

My heart shattered into three

I’ll glue it back just you wait and see

I’ve healed almost all the way

So today I say

It no longer controls me

The next times they come

Pouring down my face

I hope they are tears of joy

That I met the man no one could ever replace

Only human

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I feel horrible pain

I feel close to insane

It’s harming my brain

I weep

My heart leaps

I fall and bleed but

I often succeed

I smile and nod

I wonder about God

I run 5 miles

That makes me smile

I sometimes hike

I ride my bike until I take flight

I unite friends

The fun never gets ends

I eat

I wash my entire body what a feat

I think I dream

I feel pain physically and emotionally

I’m only human

Could you love this young woman

Who you seem to think

Is invincible

But really

Hurts like everyone else

Because I’m only human

Despite what you think

Eventually we all sink

To the level that we are

That we are meant to be

I may be strong and capable of wonder

Realize this please

And then we can both be at ease

That I’m only human

A ghost of myself

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From the start

It’s ripped me up and torn me apart

Be quiet doesn’t work

Say something and I’m a jerk

It’s a lose lose every time

So to the depths of my mind I climb

To hope I desperately cling

If there is such a thing

The fresh tears burn

But words burn more

Words burn the most

A few more and I’m toast

A few more and I’m a ghost

A ghost of myself

My old self again

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You said

I love you

But you don’t

You said we would meet soon

But we won’t

You promise me things

That make my heart sing

But now there’s a ring

A wake up call

That you never really loved me at all

You used my body like a toy

Although we never met I don’t have any joy

Because you took it from me with your lies

Every time you say things

Something inside me dies

And my anguish multiples

So I will stop myself from hurt

Wipe the tears with my shirt

And realize I deserve so much more

That feeling like I can’t breath anymore

You suffocated me with false truths and deep alternative facts

Now to keep myself intact

I leave you

You are not wrong

But you are not right for me

We can never work don’t you see

You don’t love you just want to force me

Into your sick fantasy

I was fooled once but not again

And when does this end when?

It ends now!

I’m walking away from the situation

But I do not find jubilation

I am hurt and I must heal

But to my heart you will not appeal

Because I want someone genuine and real

My happiness you will no longer steal

That’s it, you’re gone

Now that I’m

Going to be alone I can deal

With my feelings and find a decent man

That will never make me compromise on who I am

Now I rest and I’m looking forward to feeling happy safe

I’m looking forward to my new life

And I’m excited to be

My old self again