My old self again


You said

I love you

But you don’t

You said we would meet soon

But we won’t

You promise me things

That make my heart sing

But now there’s a ring

A wake up call

That you never really loved me at all

You used my body like a toy

Although we never met I don’t have any joy

Because you took it from me with your lies

Every time you say things

Something inside me dies

And my anguish multiples

So I will stop myself from hurt

Wipe the tears with my shirt

And realize I deserve so much more

That feeling like I can’t breath anymore

You suffocated me with false truths and deep alternative facts

Now to keep myself intact

I leave you

You are not wrong

But you are not right for me

We can never work don’t you see

You don’t love you just want to force me

Into your sick fantasy

I was fooled once but not again

And when does this end when?

It ends now!

I’m walking away from the situation

But I do not find jubilation

I am hurt and I must heal

But to my heart you will not appeal

Because I want someone genuine and real

My happiness you will no longer steal

That’s it, you’re gone

Now that I’m

Going to be alone I can deal

With my feelings and find a decent man

That will never make me compromise on who I am

Now I rest and I’m looking forward to feeling happy safe

I’m looking forward to my new life

And I’m excited to be

My old self again


And off into the twilight we walked…


Shielded from great harm

You were more than the alarm

That carried my through thick, choking smoke

You lifted me out and you nearly perished

Trying to rescue my soul

From the flames

Some would declare you insane

But no matter how big the flames got

I know I have a love that simply can’t be bought

I knew you loved me a lot

But I never knew you loved me this much

As our bodies touch

Your strong arms envelope me in a warm embrace

I think the world I know can face

Because when my world was on fire

You protected me from it

That’s something I will never get

I will never understand your sacrifice

And how anything I give back could suffice

I will never quite see

Why you protected me

When you have everything to lose

And nothing to gain

I try but I can’t refrain

From sobbing desperate tears

Because my greatest fears

Have disappeared

And what remains is you

You took me from harm’s way

And it’s in your gentle, firm arms that I want to stay

Can it be this way forever?

Where we are stronger together

Where our love is strong and true

Where you say I don’t have to repay you

You say I already did

I’m thinking you just kid

You look at me with serious eyes

And to my surprise you say

It’s all the little things you do, Maria that go such a long way

You remember the nights that I cooked dinner

You remember how I said you didn’t have to be thinner, that I loved you just the way you are

You recall when I saved you the last piece of pecan pie

You say so many reasons why

You say I bought you a special book

And everywhere you went you took it

You said have a look

And sure I enough what did I see

But a rare copy of The Great Gatsby

He continued to name all thing I did and and as he began to reminisce

I decided and stole the perfect, passionate kiss

He only grinned longingly

And off into the twilight we walked

Him and me

Introspectively Together, Resting


I try to flirt and not be too overt
So you say to me
It’s okay baby, I’m just resting
We lay in different beds
In different rooms
In different towns
In different states
But under the same sky
Under the same stars
Under the same God
You tell me little,
You’re reserved that way
But your few words speak volumes
I chatter endlessly
I ask questions
I go on and on
You respond kindly, wisely
I drift off, so sleepy
You drift off, tired from work
We drift to dreamland
Although far apart
Our bodies
Our minds are
Together, Resting



Perched upon my delicate face

You give life and meaning to a place

You give me vision and true fun

To where without your guidance there is none

Deep blue with brown specks

Without you my life is a wreck

Since first grade I’ve held deeply on to you

Thank you glasses for all the wonder you show me

For all the things I can do

You give my heart the gift of imagination and flight

To take off and soar because you give me sight

The Illusionist


He says
I can make anything disappear.
I say
Try loneliness.
Well, he continues
I can make things fly.
I whisper
Try the human spirit.
He retorts
I can saw a man in half; pull a rabbit out of a hat.
How about pulling out desire? I say
I can pull a flower from your ear, he gasps.
Real love doesn’t work that way. I respond.
You can keep your tricks a secret.
Well, in reality the human race finds out.

Billowing Smoke, Christmas Clues


Billowing smoke protrudes

Casting thick clouds

Light glows through the incense

During Christmas mass

Overtaking my lungs

I rush out into frigid air

Rush back inside to hear the homily

Cloud of gray

Spreading down through the pews

Splitting the light

Enchanting Christmas clues

Clues me in to triumphant beauty

A precious thing I choose not to lose

The House on Wagner Road


There’s this house
Up on Wagner Road
It’s in an excellent neighborhood
Good schools,really nice people
I sense I could create truly striking things
My children will become successful and wise
Maybe even quarterbacks or court justices
Maybe anything they can dream of and more
If I buy this house on Wagner Road
I need to have an extremely high paying profession
And a husband to help support us
If I buy this house on Wagner road

I will have the greenest lawn in the entire city
After all the grass is greener when you paint it (when you do it yourself)
I will have a precious, blooming rose garden
A giant multi-colored brick walk way
A huge garage where my Land Rover craves the road
And a feeling of being a somebody
If I buy that house on Wagner road

If I live alone
On this house on Wagner Road
I will become like The Beast from Disney
A stunning house and life but no one to share it with
Because one is the loneliest number in this case

All of these are possible
If only I love and live
At that house on Wagner Road
Because the only thing worse than dying in a
An exquisite house
Is dying alone

I will find my Mr. Right
The man who makes me weak with his smile and eyes
The man who takes me just as I am
Together we will forge a life together
Full of laughter, joy, and love
Get through all the hard times together
In the splendid house on Wagner Road