The sun peeks through

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It feels bleak

It feels cold

I push the blanket over my head

I stir

I think about what I don’t have

I think of all that I do

Then the sun peeks through

I smile for a long while

Recognizing my good fortune

Recognition of the forever up ahead

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It commands me no more.

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I want to take it
Away from your hand
That power only you have over me
It’s one I can’t stand
I want to take it
And twist it and turn it
Take it deep in the woods and burn it
I want to stop feeding your powers
With a beaming smile and joking conversation
I want to take away your smile’s sensation
I think I’ll bend it
Reverse it to you
So that way you’ll feel it
You’ll love me
The way I love you
I mean,
If it can’t be destroyed
I wish it changes its spell
The powers of heaven and hell
Clash before my eyes
My only prize
Is knowing I’ll see you again
But this is a double ended sword
The other end is your powers
Your purple pixie dust
That activates when our eyes meet
It’s the best pleasure in my life
And the worst torment at the same time
A paradox – that’s your true power
You have my in rapture one moment
Then captured by tears the next
Unable to breath, swallow, or move.
I want to take it, shatter and break it
There. Now it is done.
Now, It commands me no more.

I loved you long before…

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I loved you 25 pounds ago

I loved you two haircuts ago

I loved you before that promotion

I loved you before that car

I loved you before that fancy apartment

I loved you before the degrees

I loved you long before the fanfare

I loved you before everything changed for the better

Because you were the best thing that ever happened to me

Before all these things

I loved you when things were hard

I loved you when life was simple

The moment I laid eyes on you I loved you

And although great change is constantly occurring

My love for you only gets stronger

The fire burns, an eternal flame

Because before you became the person you adore

You have to know one thing:

You were always the man I loved

The opposite of another you

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Another you to hug
Another you to hold
Another you to laugh with
Another you to listen to me
Another you to care
Another you to understand
Another you to watch movies
Another you to eat dinner
Another you to peruse bookstores with
Another you to miss
No
I don’t want another you
You left me
You abandoned us
You didn’t care one bit
You went your own way without a second thought
You left me to stare
You left me cold
You left so bold
You hurt me so much
I shivered at the idea of seeing you
I want someone to truly care
I want someone who won’t just leave
I want someone to love
I want someone to kiss
I want someone I will miss
I want someone to be there
I want someone to stay when things are hard
I want someone through think and thin
So really,
I want literally the opposite
Of another you

I saw you

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After a rough night
My dreams took flight
After a long hard, depressing day
I count on my dreams to take me far away
After pain and tears
After all my fears
After problems and lack of a job
Swallow my life
After all this fills me to the brim with strife
I go to my bed
I wrap around my covers
And instead
Of happy dreams to calm me
I see something else entirely
Through the fog and mist
It was your lips I kissed
Not even in the land of dreams it’s true
I try to escape but I saw it,
I saw you

Ledge, Wings, and Memories

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These poems these memories
They boil up with me
Sending me nostalgically
Into what I want to be
Blending words like chemistry
Expressing my life into an expository
Talking about things
Talking about flying with my pair of wings
Talking about new beginnings
Old endings
The reals and the pretend endings
Talking about acting like yourself
Not like anyone else
I dive off the edge
I smash into the ledge
I brush off the pain
I look for whom to blame
And someone who can tame
The wild within me
Before I turn this into the never-ending story
I’ll sign off, still seeking eternal glory!