The media of shocking information
The exaggeration of images
Confuse and fascinate at the same time.

Then there is love.
The paradox of love and being loved
I have loved with my whole heart
Now my heart is filled with holes
The not being loved back was so painful
The accusations of never caring were the worst
I at least wanted him to know I loved him
That would be enough
It would have to be.
But, it was not meant to be.

For now I have sensations of love towards things like coffee.
Or my family.
Or God.
Friends, Shimer, and Falafel, all sensational things.
They are different times for, different types of sensation
All senses are involved

Trying to awake from a deep sleep
Trying to come back from a dream
Trying to escape slumber and excite my real senses
My brain and body want different things
One waits stillness, the other wants movement
Struggling to wake up
The shock of no longer dream land
A most odd sensation …



Sleep seems inconceivable
But I must sleep
Sensations heartlessly pounding at my brain
All fives sense slammed by this coming hug

His smell
His touch
That’s my preparation for sensation
My own interpretation

Struggles to sleep
Odd sensation of the wanting of what you simply cannot having
Grasping for food, sleep, love, survival
The ability to exist
And be happy in your mere existence
So tiny yet so remarkable you are
Millions of individuals
Feel sensation
An algorithm should be created to
Amass all the sensation.
How can actually I express all the sensations I feel with words?
Language is so unbelievably inadequate.

Touch of hot or cold
Shockwaves sent from my hand to my brain
Touch of love
A simple hug is much more complicated when I feel love
It came, as if from a dream…
Butterflies flutter tumultuously in my stomach
Burning urges cause flames
Flames of passion
Sometimes the embers die
The love, tainted or gone
And the charred remains of
My body remain
But the memory of that sensation
That hug…

Seeing that charming painting
Wearing that warm, comfortable dress
Smelling that delicious coffee
Hearing the birds way off in the distant
Tasting that chocolate cake

Maddening Intensity of Calm and Ease


I leave the car slowly and
I see you, it’s you… and I feel butterflies
I feel a sense of anticipation.
We embrace and we walk towards the restaurant
I feel each step as I walk next to you
It feels natural, like we’ve walked together before
Except we haven’t
We smile and walk up to the counter
Breathe in…
You ask, Do you know what you want?
I say Yes, I always get the same thing.
You glance the menu and we order.
Breathe out…
We wait a long time for our food.
But I feel it.
Standing there.
Glancing at you.
I feel stillness.
I feel calm.
I feel peace.
I feel traquail next to you.
I breathe nice and even breaths. I smile. I laugh.
We talk through the evening and it’s so nice.
I feel calm sipping tea and I listen to you.
I appreciate your casual attire.
It calms me.
I dressed up too much…
It feels effortless being with you.
I don’t feel maddening intensity except I do.
I feel maddening intensity of joy.
Maddening intensity of calm and ease.
Of our first meeting.

It left me Breathless: The Giver


What if what you all along thought to be right turned out to be all one giant horrific lie? That is the unimaginable truth faced by Jonas the main character in the book adaptation of The Giver. The movie was not what I expected. The array of commercials showed a strong deviation from the novel with disheartened me. By the end of the movie, I did not mind for my eyes witnessed something greater than a movie based on a book that is accurate, it showed the triumph of love. At the beginning Jonas says “Our master said I should be punished for what I did. I’ll let you decide.” Having read the book, I instantly had my answer but was suddenly put off by how futurist it was. The apprehensiveness that Jonas experienced in the book was not really there and it seemed overacted. I soon realized that was intention and to show the lack of emotions in the community. For in this community there is no pain. It is made into a seemingly utopian society that Jonas, through his unique job selection discovers is anything but that.

However, the scene where Jonas experiences snow, a sled, and color are such stunning scenes that they move your heart. It makes life worth living to see Jonas so happy. The actor chosen to play Jonas is simply brilliant. I cannot say enough for how he carries the movie. Fiona was well played too, but Asher seemed sinister and I did not like that aspect. This movie begs the question: Does sameness equal peace? When Jonas realizes what else is out there he knows the answer. Meryl Streep does an amazing job of playing a twisted character. She explains to the Giver that “the boy must hold in the pain”. Now we understand the Giver who was the Receiver of memory’s job: to feel all the pain and have actual emotions while everyone else lives a false reality. As for Jonas he says about discovering the memories “I got lost, the good kind of lost.” The Giver gives wise advice saying “Don’t accept the truth just because it comes from someone you respect.” This is a scary thought but one Jonas really must ponder as he goes on in his journey. When Jonas realizes what is about to happen he takes drastic action and the scene where The Giver pleads with the chief elder is so heartbreaking but beautiful. This entire moving is a journey about fighting for preserving love. It left me breathless.

Where I’m From


I’m from corduroy jackets and denim jeans.
Running water and yellow Gatorade.
Sometimes when it rains for the window panes never lie,
I’m from wet sidewalks and damp fur.
If Scrabble is out and music pulses through my heart,
Then you know that’s where I’m from.

On occasion, if thunder and lightening lurk near,
The warm covers of my bed
Along with an old movie are where I’m from.
Warm pizza and Pepsi-Cola,
As well as silent laughter of a close friend are where I’m from.
When you can fall asleep to the cites
Of a fantasy land with a glass castle-
That is me.

I’m from oil paintings of mysterious night skies-
The kind of creases that fascinate my fingers.
The love and joy that I possess flows every so slowly
Onto the canvas before I am even awake.
When the lighthouse I’ve portrayed jumps off the page,
That’s where I’m from.

Every so often Harry Potter casts a spell on my world,
And nothing precious to me can be taken away.
My senses celebrate the magic I nourish them with,
For although they cannot tell a soul, they keep my treasures safe.

I’m from scraped knees and bruised shoulders.
One kiss and it is all better.
Where I’m from, long walks on the beach
Make for pleasant conversation.
“Mine the darkness and see the path you leave behind.”
Sometimes there is darkness in the distant trees,
But when the night sky is shimmering with shooting stars,
That’s where I’m from.

The place where I often dwell is in the front yard with all my flowers.
My lungs praise the October air, and the leaves delight my vision.
Sparkling bubbles from the fountain drizzle onto my body-
That’s where I’m where.