Please don’t be reckless with my heart


I’m just so scared of getting hurt
I wipe my cold tears on the sleeve of my shirt
I am so sad that I’m all alone
So I begin to quietly groan
My heart it just breaks
I don’t know what it will take
When everything is at stake
I want to be loved, can you see
But every time I loved it ended tragically
Isn’t there anyone out there
Who would love me without a care
Who would love with reckless abandon
But not be reckless with my heart
It’s been put back together so many times
If it tears apart
Again and ruptures
I think it would be beyond repair
So as I prepare for another Christmas
I ask of you, the man I will love
Could you love me unconditionally
And hold me tight
Protect me, care for me with all your might?
I would love you so deeply
So sweetly and completely
On this cold December morning
I’m filled with both fright and delight
That maybe one day someone might
Not be reckless and tear my world apart
And be the one who steals me away heals my ailing heart

Only we know where the starry-eyed night leads


Only me and you

the only two

That know where that place

Where we will have our first embrace

Where our fingers will interlace

And we will look into each’s face

I will stare into your eyes

And to my surprise

I feel although I haven’t met you just yet

The sky is suddenly wet

Crying with joy

And I stare at the same sky

As you my one and only guy

And only we will be there

Everything else will be white noise

I will have great poise

That will disappear as soon as you near

And there will be so much joy in my heart

I will feel swollen, ripped up, torn apart

But with Love

It will be just us

Only we know where the starry-eyed night leads

Memories of Home


I’m carefully studying this place that is my beloved.
I’m walking carefully around my home.
I’m stepping in places that burst open a memory box deeper than any ocean.
I’m tiptoeing through comfort and growing up.
I’m pushing through painful times
I’m skipping through the joyous ones.
I’m reliving arguments and triumphs. Everything means something to me. That carpet we bought with mom and went out for coffee after. Those new couches my parents saved for. The wooden floors that I helped restore with my own two hands. The spot for the Christmas tree. My dads favorite spot to sit. The area of the coffee table I steam burned with a pizza box. The area that in my heart means thanksgiving. My brothers man cave that I watch project runway in. When I move out I hope all these memories are engrained in my heart. When I am on my own, I hope I remember the soup and the football and the Polish that made me who I am. I hope that this dream house keeps me grounded. I hope one day I found a house to fill with new memories that are half as good as those that are filled to the brim in this house.

When we finally meet


When we finally meet

On the side walk

Or on the street

In a theater or  quirky cafe

I wonder what he’ll have to say

Will he be poetic in his speech?

Will it be about cars, sports, or just the weather that he will preach?

Will he be carefree or intense?

Will his feelings being sudden and immense

Or will they grow over time but put down roots right on that fateful day ?

What ever the case I lay in my bed and wonder, ponder, guess, and think

When he sees me will he wink?

Will he be like those typical of my who’s who

Or will he be someone entirely new

Until that time when our paths cross

My last first meeting with the man of my dreams, and my reality

Until then I’m left to just imagine

What will it be like and feel like

The sparks will fly…

When we finally meet