Fly

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Between all of the awful things that keep happening I hope this is the last. I want the bad things to stop hitting me like a train. My body cannot get over the shock of one before the next one strikes. I need a break. It’s so much to happen at once. My soul is crumbling apart. Happiness, joy, love, and balance are hemorrhaging out of my system and bitterness, angry, and sadness are being sucked in their place. I want the good things back. It’s like when I was a little girl and I was drowning. My uncle got me out of the cold water but not before a good scare. This time the water is colder. It’s deeper and more vast and opaque. And I can’t keep my head above water. It is like there are weights attached to my legs hell-bent on filling my lungs with water and taking me away from Earth. I keep ripping them off but new ones lock on tight. No one can save me. I need to do this on my own. The weights off. And swim fly jump just get away. To happiness, joy, love, and balance.

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Follow my lead

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Read the best books
Climb the highest trees
Swim the deepest waters
Reach the highest mountains
Eat the biggest ice cream cone
Buy the car you want
Buy whatever you wish
Wear those shoes
Wear that coat
Sing that song and loud
Dance until you pant
Right that wrong
Decorate
Paint
Stroll
Drink
Run
Whatever you are meant to do
Go forth and do it
If you are afraid to
If you are hesitant
If time has stopped you
If fear has
Don’t worry
I will fold up your fears
I will hold you hands
Follow my lead

Twisted Governments, Characters, and Intentions: The Tempest

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We began our talk of The Tempest with some much needed plot clarification as this is one convoluted story. Prospero (the rightful Duke of Milan), Miranda (his daughter), Caliban (his slave) and Ariel (a spirit he freed, also a slave) have been together on this uninhabited island for 12 years or so. Prospero and his daughter were shipwrecked here, but don’t seem to have intentions to leave which we discussed in class as a bizarre choice. Caliban was born on the island to the witch Sycorax, who was sentenced to death but couldn’t be executed because she was pregnant. So she was exiled to the island. Antonio (Prospero’s brother) and his gang of ignorant misfits are now shipwrecked on the island as well, thanks to Prospero’s magic. The final plot point I would like to make is Antonio usurped his brother Prospero as the Duke of Milan, and Prospero left the situation only to be marooned on this island and now is seeking revenge.

We hit a range of topics regarding the story and its characters. In this protokoll, I would like to discuss the three kinds of government that are found on this island and the notion of a hierarchy. Government and politics is something we cannot get away from, even in a story of a shipwreck on an inhabited island. This was something I did not see right away but was appreciative that it was brought to the attention of the class. I would also like to discuss Miranda’s role in this play and the power dynamics that exist between Prospero and his slaves. It is interesting to see how Ariel wants more agency and to be completely free, while Caliban is fine with just having a new master.

The idea of a hierarchy on the island is an interesting one I would like to explore as I believe it is Shakespeare demonstrating that even in a dire situation people will perhaps try to work together, but struggle or even manipulate others to achieve power. All of our readings so far have had this theme of a hierarchy being created. In Arabian Nights, the hierarchy was of the royals and their subjects as well and men and women, but women had a way of finding power in an unexpected way. In The Canterbury Tales, the author harshly judged many of the characters, but we could also create a hierarchy in that text of the different professions and beyond that the gender dynamics were something we explored at length. Women and their strength was also an interesting point in these tales. In The Treasure of the City of Ladies as well as The Battle over Free Will, God is at the top of the hierarchy. In The Treasure of the City of Ladies a hierarchy of women is created as Pizan addresses women from all walks of life, giving them life advice while ranking them in the process. All these texts mentioned had a lot of people in mind regarding the hierarchy that was established so I ask, who is there to even rule on this island?

In terms of ruling people, Machiavelli had very forceful points about how to rule, but the way that Antonio talks isn’t reminiscent of a thirsty power grab. He already achieved that by throwing his brother from his rightful place. It feels more like a sense of entitlement and pretentiousness that propels his discussion and that of his gang what kind of power they will gain while on this island. The three types of government that were brought to light were: Machiavellian – Stephano with his wine, hedonism – Gonzalo with power politics, and Prospero with restoring the kingdom through marriage. Is the idea of creating this system easier because they can start fresh and build upon it due to the lack of people here? From this question I think of the process of colonization due to Prospero wanting control of the spirit and the person that was there before he was. The two that must suffer as a result are Caliban and Ariel, although interestingly, only Ariel seeks freedom.

Caliban and Ariel are the two (person and spirit) that were there previously to Prospero. It seems very unjust to automatically wish to enslave people or spirits upon arriving at a new place. Through history, we see this behavior of conquering, so while unjust it is not surprising. In class, there was talk of the defiance of both Caliban and Ariel in subtle ways but I do not see that happening in this play. While they can push against their master, they must ultimately submit to his wishes. There are two different people here to consider and they want different things from their lives. Caliban is disobedient to Prospero but when Antonio and his gang appear, Caliban seems oddly willing to having some new masters that aren’t any better than Prospero. Ariel, in contrast, was freed from a tree that Sycorax locked him in, and Prospero is really milking that situation unfairly. Ariel wants true freedom but Prospero wants Ariel to continue doing tasks for him and reminds Ariel how he freed him. Another point to consider is that both the slaves are grateful to the master, one for all he learned from Prospero, and the other for being freed. As the story unfolds, we will see how these two characters develop further and we shall see about Caliban’s ridiculous idea to attack Prospero with his new masters. Another character connected to Prospero is his daughter, Miranda.

Miranda is the only female character we encounter and she is intriguing. She is Prospero’s daughter but she seems to have a sense of strength about her. She is inquisitive and curious about what brought her and her father to this island. She is the first to speak in the play before her father, and I wondered if that had any significance in the play or if it was an arbitrary fact that I noticed. Miranda could have developed far more as a character, but upon seeing Ferdinand the only man she had ever seen in her life, she becomes overwhelmed with love and he does as well. I wonder if her father is creating this forbidden love story so they fall more in love is to help her, or if it is his way of maintaining control over her like he does over his slaves. If Ferdinand did not come, I would be curious to see what kind of character Miranda would become. It seems like she was a strong character, until she finds love. Then, she becomes a slave to that love. That concept is particularly interesting because Dido is referred to in the play, and she is a goddess that also was very powerful, until her love for Aeanus and his abandonment of her destroyed her in The Aeneid. Hopefully, there is a happier ending for Miranda. Given this is a Shakespearean comedy I have a hunch that things will work out just fine for Miranda. It seems to be a running theme that when a woman has agency, she loses it, blinded by love. In the conclusion of this play, we have to see what will become of her love and of Caliban’s foolish plan, as well as the building of a hierarchy as the play progresses. What will be the outcome for Prospero’s plans and will Ariel be free? There is a lot to resolve but there are three acts remaining so I have faith Shakespeare will accomplish just that. Perhaps, Miranda will continue to be a strong character despite her new found love.

Slave to the Streetlight

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It’s of many plights
You drive jade, goldenrod, and crimson lights
Some people are like robotic- slaves
They calmly slow down
At a goldenrod they run this routine
Never minding never thinking about freedom
When it is crimson
They are goody goods
Sit there like squares
On their biscuit
Never willing to risk it
The rush, you do not regret
You fly
The red and blue lights
Don’t fret, you Kyle
You race through with your cigarette
Chew on it with pride
And listen to The Police
Ironic isn’t it?
You do because
Otherwise
You conform
I know you enough to say that isn’t your style
To conform and not confront the life
You by living, rejecting, the humdrum of everyday
Dream bigger dreams
Look that other guy straight in his eye
And scream
Fuck you
Bastard
You sit there thinking
You cut me off
And now we are sitting at a red
It’s almost evil but still fantastic
You smash that pedal Kyle
You show them
Drive 60 in a 45
It’s night 2:00 in the morning
You are nobody’s slave
He is a slave to the streetlight
The other guy
Not you

Floating

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I am floating, floating far away
To where I am going I can’t really say
I’m floating swiftly in the blink of an eye
I floating away, please bid me goodbye
It’s fast and far that’s where I will go
No sense in even looking, you’ll never know
I will fly to a place entirely of my own
A place where I can weep secretly, alone
I’ll use my face to hide the pain
Even though my eyes are stained
I’ll pick up a shell off the beach so far away
Only a few minutes more,
Because longer I can’t possibly stay
And somehow in some strange way
The shell reminds me of you today
It is my greatest bliss and my worst foe
Hurriedly I will pack up and go
I’ll go back to where I came
Although it will never be the same
It’s silly to look for someone to blame
In my adventure I will see
A brief glimpse of what it’s like to be happy
Then the beach waves will rush in
Crush my hopes, recall only your sin
And my ignorance to think you actually cared
Thinking our friendship was existent and strong
Thinking of what it was that I did wrong
Knowing my guard will never be down again
With the entire world entire race of men
I’ll pick up the seashell and as I do
Instead I’ll simply despair realizing one thing is true
I will never love another the way I loved you
I will be half a heart until
I find another guy who makes it stand still

Define Happy (A throwback from when I was 18)

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Currently my life consists of many various ingredients that go into the cake that is Maria Pondo. One starts with an 18th year old girl. Then you add the spices like Polish 100% and Roman Catholic by her own choosing. Being single tops the list of things that are me. Well you factor in my upbringing and environment and you get this – me! You envision a girl who worships every Sunday, is generally concerned with the world as a whole. She loves her heritage and finds it is a part of her heart. Being single is something I have just come to accept. Some things haven’t worked out in the past, but I can’t love someone who will hurt me, and I have been hurt so much, I don’t expect it to happen to me; for someone to come into my life because they care. My standing on marriage is this. It is that both people play an equal role. Respect, honesty, honor, love, and genuine care are merely the basic building blocks of a healthy marriage. Trust is a huge factor. Respecting a woman’s body and wishes in terms of a career. If she wishes to be a housewife, and then by all means be the best you can be. However, if she wishes upon a career and a man denies her this, he is doing both parties a disservice by acting selfishly. Agreeing upon the raising of children is extremely important. The final block of it is a multilayered balance of time between various activities and with the ones you love. Maybe you don’t want to compromise, but let me ask you something. When you get that promotion and your life is thus propelling forward that’s nice, but doe it means anything if you’re alone?

With marriage I believe that the male cannot be dominant as my current life status believes, and that the mother cannot forego her power as a mother. Also, they need to understand what’s best for their partner, not just themselves. To reiterate the point of allowing the mother to choose her career or work out a compromise not just the male. Nothing should be forced. You should act together flawlessly as one. Granted there with be problems as no one is perfect, you by having a solid base of honesty, honor, trust, and respect and work on it when times get tough. Without that base, you need to understand that abuse, infidelity, or separation may follow. I am a strong woman would will not subordinate to commands. I was taught to not be “high maintenance”, but I don’t think some chivalry is so hard to ask for.

The two view points are as different as the sun and the moon. One is the current life that I have on this Earth. One of suffering, but happiness too like life should be. One that makes me feel complete to do hard work, but to find wiggle room to mingle and have fun in a safe environment. I realize from this that I would never change anything about myself, not even my illness. I’m ten times stronger as a result. I will love, live, and do it all. I could potentially live to see all my dreams come true. I understand now how much of a different life I could have by playing with many attributes that make me who I am. Do you know what? Dreams are wonders, and they never retire. I can have a stable marriage with a man who loves me for who I am. He will respect me. I would not marry someone if they weren’t the one. So, fulfilling your hopes and dreams is the way to be. I will care about myself and that very special someone. Together we will bond and form a structured lifestyle without commands and without skeletons in the closet. It is what I choose. My current life would be cold and empty any other way.