High on the List of things I hate (Throwback)


High on the list of things I hate

Broken rulers, being dreadfully late

Burning something or worse leaving it uncooked

Going to a hotel only to find out they’re booked

Self- help books and a huge flood

When my brand new shoes get caked in filthy mud


Cruelties towards an animals or human soul

Finding out your favorite team lost by one goal

When your dress tears apart at the seams

You wish that it was a sequence of bad dreams

(Yes I even hating the wishing, the lies we have to tell ourselves to stay okay)

When nature’s fury causes us to question our fate

These are high on the list of things I hate


When you end up questioning everything you’ve ever done

If you have not, it is time you’ve begun

When you look in the mirror and

You truly don’t love it, you take your hands and pray

When you have a craving for something and the store is fresh out

When you’re baby cousin does nothing but screech and shout


But something I don’t hate per say but

Something that makes me cry when it occurs this way

Is when I am sad

And no one knows why

Instead of advice or comfort of any kind

They sit there stuck on rewind

No knowing that the only thing worse

Then any problem, burden or curse

Is facing  this world alone


Judge Me


<revisting high school ponderings>

no matter
where you go where you are
people are judging you
your clothes
your make up
your hair
your purse
everything is being analyzed before
you even speak to the person
i noticed as i went to shake someone’s hand
i already judged them as a jock
because they were built and wearing Abercrombie
i thought was not so judgmental
but as the day wore on
i figured out even if I never said it
I was.

And that sucked.
Now when people JUDGE ME
I get mad but realize i was judging the person
next to them anyway

I’m trying to figure out
why we judge people
and why some things get in the
way of ever knowing someone

Release the Hot Coals of Anger



Release the hot coals of anger

In my brain so much is swirling, but I have to go soon.

Swirling, twirling in my brain

So many thoughts, I wonder if I’m sane

I won’t hold on to anger

I’ll process then push it out of my way

Only the good thoughts will same

Happiness will remain and prevail

And I will unveil

The new me

Thinner from the workouts and spinach salads but also happier from the exercise

(Adding exercise and healthier food is a win!)

Happier from times with loved ones

As I recognize Buddha was right.

So think twice

Be aware of the poisonous burn of anger.

Release the hot coals

Soothe your soul

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”  -Buddha

After I worked out, my brain felt so alive and awake I was filled with this delicious ambition to write. So here we are. My followers and anyone else who is out there! Hi! It’s Maria. After this morning, I really considered my anger and anger in general, Really what is it good for anyway?

What is anger good for? Besides when I watch Trump at the gym, anger isn’t good for much. Joking, watching Trump isn’t a reason to anger, it’s a reason to act – you can channel that anger into positive actions to better our world and yourself. Better yourself, don’t let what angered you wreck your day!

I must have called a thousand times… At the theater: A movie goers nightmare 


I excitedly went to see The Revenant, but was so bothered by the man next to me who was on his phone the entire time. The blue flash of light irratied me to no end. I was fuming and unsure how to proceed. I managed to fall in love with this film and its message. The scenes were stunning. It was not easy, but the movie was so beyond incredible. The cell phone was a nightmare, glowing in my peripheral vision. It’s such a small thing but it’s incredibly inconsiderate. Why take a relaxing time and make it stressful for someone who is there for fun?

I hope next time I am able to speak up for myself or simply move. Either option is good, but I was nervous to confront someone. Were they possibly unaware of their actions?

 However, I think out of respect to everyone else, if you want to play on your phone for three hours, don’t come to the theater and ruin it for someone who has been so excited to see the movie. Put down you phone and enjoy the life happening right in front of you! So excited to have that escape, that rush of the movie. Just don’t go to the theater if you can’t be respectful, as it is truly unfair to someone trying to have an experience and enjoy life. 

This is how I felt, but no more: I love me for me!


Because I’m overweight, I eat next to nothing for breakfast. Or drink ensure. (Not anymore)

Because I’m overweight, trying on dresses for the SGA banquet was a plea with God, that said —“Please help me find something that doesn’t make me look HUGE.”

Since I’m overweight more than half my closet doesn’t fit and I ignore that half, even ignoring the shoes that exist there, just so I can avoid the beautiful clothes that make me look like someone who has quit on life.

Like a fat camp failure. (No offense to anyone)

But I eat okay. I exercise. I obsess about food. Even fruit.

Sure I am human so I make mistakes.

The truth is my medicine makes losing weight nearly impossible.

But, Because I’m fat every mistake is like a crime.The punishment life without parole in my body. That is punishment enough…

Suddenly, I started losing weight. Just stayed busy and it started coming off…I don’t feel fat anymore.

I feel society created something in my mind that I constantly compared myself to.

No more.

I don’t need a man to validate my feelings.

I love me for me. =)