Broken compass

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Cold, bruised soul
Cold, tired hands
Cold, tired heart
Don’t know which direction to follow
Don’t know day from night
Don’t know if I followed the right star
Cold broken heart
Cold, shattered soul
Cold, exhausted body
Broken compass

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Human Nature

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Everybody hates liars
But everybody lies
Does that make us hypocrites?
Everybody loathes death
But everybody dies (eventually)
We simply fear the inevitable.
Everybody hates cruelty
But everyone is cruel
Denial is our worn out tool.
Everyone hates learning
But everyone goes to school
We go because we have dreams and we want to convert into those dreams.
The only thing that would change that
Is if your action your lie, or cruelty shatters, ruins, or crumbles
Someone else or you
And if they forgive you
Well anybody can forgive if they try but not every
Can forget
More importantly
Can you forgive yourself?

Would it make a difference if you knew

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I never got to tell you it was love at first sight
When you picked me up that night
I never got to say how you make me feel
When you are near I know it’s real
There were so many words left unsaid
So many words remained only in my head
Would it make a difference if you knew
That I was madly out of mind in love with you
What hurts the most was being so close
But you blocked me from your life
You saw me, got my messages and never told me
My heart was so severed I couldn’t see
Couldn’t think, couldn’t breath
Your cruel emails prove you didn’t understand
That to me there wasn’t a soul more grand
I’m left alone to ponder
I’m left alone in misery
I’m left alone to heal
I’m left alone to grieve
My reprieve is this
Do you care for her the way you did me
When you gave her your last first kiss?
Do you miss me?
Probably not.
The truth is I know you are married
But you were my first love
And for that reason and lots of little ones
I miss you a lot

Promises, but really lies

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For the beginning the lie began to brew

The promise that “I’ll never hurt you”

I should have known then that it couldn’t be true

You fed me sweet sweet words

That realized that I didn’t pick

Was while you fed them to me

And the sugar made me sick

It coated my heart

And I loved you a lot

But all of the sugar

Caused me to be a fool

And my heart to corrode and rot

To dissipate like snowflakes in the ocean and disappear …

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My once calming joyful bliss
Suddenly sprinkled with blurred sickening sadness
Because long ago you and I were together
I still vividly remember you
And I remember every time we were together
Until we weren’t
I recall your laughter, your voice
Your kindness and the warmth you exuded – that was your choice
Most of all I remember you cruel words
And you know what
They still hurt
I remember when I ran into you
Downtown recently
I froze as you took off you sunglasses and approached me
I was completely numb and scared
Completely unprepared
I thought I felt nothing but
I had so much to say
That all dissolved when you displayed your wedding ring
My words just flushed away
It made me sick
I wanted to kick the ground and scream
What could I do?
I did the right thing, I congratulated you.
I never remember a moment more clear
Than that moment because I literally wanted
To dissipate like snowflakes in the ocean and disappear …

Today I’m saying goodbye

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Drained of all air

You’re my greatest nightmare

Because at night I’m filled with dread and fright

Even though you’re not there

I still care and I’m scared

I let you in my life

And it cuts like a knife

That you won’t let me go

I said we shouldn’t be together but you said oh no

You tried to make me stay

You tried so things would go your way

Not today

Today I’m saying goodbye

To all your lies

To all false truths

To all forced things

To saying you love me

But making fun of me

By saying hurtful things

By not giving me straight answers

By saying there’s no one our there for me

All manipulation

Imagine my jubilation

Once I heal

Once you’re gone

Because without you

I’ll live it up a little more every day

I’m already seeing myself so differently

Just let go of me

And if you don’t

I’m going to cut the cord

I will leave

I will be strong

Your cruel words won’t be heard long

I cannot wait to be free

And find the opposite of you

Someone who lets me be me