Love at First Sight

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One cool day in October I messaged him
He replied swiftly the following day
We connected in a profound way
That to this day I can’t seem to find again
It was when we shared our stories of happiness, loss, and pain
There were all sorts of thoughts pouring through the edges of my brain
Deep inside the layers my soul collided
With the words he’d spoken
With deep tenderness provided
He would always end with a sweet goodnight
And I have never slept better, pure delight
In November we agreed to meet
He texted, “I’m outside” and my heart began to beat
It began to thud around in my chest so fast
I stepped out into the street,
Doing my best
To keep myself together
As he stepped out to greet me
My vision was flooded with everything in the entire world at that moment that mattered –
Him
His beautiful eyes, His crooked smile, his hair tousled in the wind
Suddenly, I felt what could only be described
As the most incredible sensation of joy, vigor, hope, and awe
I walked towards him and we embraced
And that feeling kept pulsing through me
Filling me with this out of control emotion I hadn’t experienced yet
And although we never met before
I knew that very cold November night
That what had occurred to me
Was the utter beauty of love at first sight

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Late at morning or early at night

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Sometimes it hurts just to speak
Sometimes it hurts just to think
Sometimes it hurts just to utter words

Because it’s been so long
Since I had free reign
And now that I’ll applying to jobs
And interviewing
And rhyming
And joking with guys
And eating large cheese fries
I devise a plan
Shop til I drop

But sometimes
Late at morning or early at night
I ponder and wonder
What do I want?

Maddening Intensity of Calm and Ease

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I leave the car slowly and
I see you, it’s you… and I feel butterflies
I feel a sense of anticipation.
We embrace and we walk towards the restaurant
I feel each step as I walk next to you
It feels natural, like we’ve walked together before
Except we haven’t
We smile and walk up to the counter
Breathe in…
You ask, Do you know what you want?
I say Yes, I always get the same thing.
You glance the menu and we order.
Breathe out…
We wait a long time for our food.
But I feel it.
Standing there.
Glancing at you.
I feel stillness.
I feel calm.
I feel peace.
I feel traquail next to you.
I breathe nice and even breaths. I smile. I laugh.
We talk through the evening and it’s so nice.
I feel calm sipping tea and I listen to you.
I appreciate your casual attire.
It calms me.
I dressed up too much…
It feels effortless being with you.
I don’t feel maddening intensity except I do.
I feel maddening intensity of joy.
Maddening intensity of calm and ease.
Of our first meeting.

You are the reason

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Everyday I wake
A huge breath of fresh air I take
I think about you when I am up
Colliding thoughts of us
I make such a fuss
Of showering, brushing teeth, cleaning the house
But when I think of you
I’m calm
It washes over me like a calming wind
Because I know in my heart
The reason I smile all the time
The reason I jump out of bed
The reason I’m myself
Or a better version of myself
The reason I’m giddy
I’m a million things at once
I’m a wild rush
I’m madly in love
I’m a mess
But I’m happy
I hope you are too
Because I love who I am
And You
You are the reason

Fly

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Between all of the awful things that keep happening I hope this is the last. I want the bad things to stop hitting me like a train. My body cannot get over the shock of one before the next one strikes. I need a break. It’s so much to happen at once. My soul is crumbling apart. Happiness, joy, love, and balance are hemorrhaging out of my system and bitterness, angry, and sadness are being sucked in their place. I want the good things back. It’s like when I was a little girl and I was drowning. My uncle got me out of the cold water but not before a good scare. This time the water is colder. It’s deeper and more vast and opaque. And I can’t keep my head above water. It is like there are weights attached to my legs hell-bent on filling my lungs with water and taking me away from Earth. I keep ripping them off but new ones lock on tight. No one can save me. I need to do this on my own. The weights off. And swim fly jump just get away. To happiness, joy, love, and balance.