life lessons

Sweet lullabies of love

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I pull on my Valentine’s Day sweater with care

The one with different colored lipstick kisses that makes me smile

I paint my nails a deep red

I send out wishes to all my family

I eat my oatmeal

Love my body with goodness

That’s my Valentine’s Day

I am grateful that I have so much love in my life

And one day soon

I will swoon

Over him

And my Valentine’s Day

Will include a romantic dinner

Roses or lilies

And most importantly

Someone that loves me with their entire heart

We will cuddle we will kiss

The won’t be a hint that I miss

We will romance

We will dance

We will appreciate the little things

We will hear our hearts sing

Sweet lullabies of love

Brush it off, and recall – These poems, these memories

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These poems these memories
They boil up with me
Sending me nostalgically
Into what I want to be
Blending words like chemistry
Expressing my life into an expository
Talking about things
Talking about flying with my pair of wings
Talking about new beginnings
Old endings
The reals and the pretend endings
Talking about acting like yourself
Not like anyone else
I dive off the edge
I smash into the ledge
I brush off the pain
I look for whom to blame
And someone who can tame
The wild within me
Before I turn this into the never-ending story
I’ll sign off, still seeking eternal glory!

Today I’m saying goodbye

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Drained of all air

You’re my greatest nightmare

Because at night I’m filled with dread and fright

Even though you’re not there

I still care and I’m scared

I let you in my life

And it cuts like a knife

That you won’t let me go

I said we shouldn’t be together but you said oh no

You tried to make me stay

You tried so things would go your way

Not today

Today I’m saying goodbye

To all your lies

To all false truths

To all forced things

To saying you love me

But making fun of me

By saying hurtful things

By not giving me straight answers

By saying there’s no one our there for me

All manipulation

Imagine my jubilation

Once I heal

Once you’re gone

Because without you

I’ll live it up a little more every day

I’m already seeing myself so differently

Just let go of me

And if you don’t

I’m going to cut the cord

I will leave

I will be strong

Your cruel words won’t be heard long

I cannot wait to be free

And find the opposite of you

Someone who lets me be me

Let me go, I’m sick of being lovesick

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I have important things to do and important places to go

Whether it rains or there is snow

Let me go, the wanting of love

Let me be, can’t you see

The want of you is slowly

Destroying me

Let me go, let me fly

Let me leave, just let me by

I want to leave this lovesick spell

I have a place I wish to dwell

I have high hopes and glorious dreams

And although it seems

That all I want is love

All I really want is life

If love finds me great

I will truly celebrate

Until then I want a job, apartment, a puppy, a life of my own

A place to call my true home

And I am sick of being lovesick

So please heart and brain

Be still for me

Because you’re driving me insane

Be still for me and let me live

Then the great sin of madness due to love that you’ve both created

Only once you release me

Only then can I forgive

Secretly, I hate you

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The way you brush your teeth and long silky hair
The way you send waves of despair
Through your entire soul
It’s pulsing but no one’s there
Secretly I hate you
The way your brain runs so fast
With questions and answers
Input and output
Trial and error
Frankly it drives me insane.
I hate your firm determination
Your strange jubilation
I hate the way you get stuck
In the moment
Your self-control gone amuck
I hate the way you wear pink and aqua and purple
And the distinct rings on your fingers on your hand
I hate the way you think
You’re so damn cool
Cuz you were crew and band
I hate your jet black glasses
Outspoken voice, hazel eyes
The way your kindness
Takes people by surprise.
I hate your smile
Secretly and how you lie that
You’re okay and alright
When really your soul is being flushed away
Like dirty dishwater in the sink…
Even more then you,
I hate what you’ve become
Transcending all reason
Giving into society, pure treason
For no reason
What happened to that girl that fought for what was right
I think her braid is screwed on too tight
I hate what has become of your self-confidence
The one you never knew you never had
But now the glass is always half-empty
Eternal gloomy, sad
Mostly I hate you
Because everyday in front of the mirror
I ponder, relate to you
Look in the mirror and eventually
When I start to cry I’m suddenly sorry
For all I put you through – hell
Distant, lonely every fragment every cell
Weeps
My dejected level leaps
I’m sorry that sometimes
My hate is fiction but
Today’s is true-
Somewhere deep inside
This fine December night
Secretly I hate you~
I see vibrant, optimistic woman hiding
Behind an impulse of sliced dreams
No one is what or who they seem
I hate that self-doubt most
If she carries on with her life that way
She’s toast
I hate your of football
The Eagles and The Bears
Of Basketball the Dallas Mavericks
Who the hell cares?
I hate the way you always make your bed,
Push the hair from your face
Looking for a final embrace
I hate the way you forgive everyone in sight
No matter how cruel, how bad the fight
I hate your creativity
I hate your style
You sigh, cough, and giggle
How you make me run a mile
I hate your love
Of movies
Literature and fine dining
I hate the echo of your whining
What I hate more is how at home
My custom made, prison shaped dome
Argument and screaming
From my “perfect” home
I’m left alone with the pain
Wow, big shocker
I hate that girl who stands by the window
And watches the sun rise
Humming here comes the sun
Broken roses and shredded dreams are all that’s left
It did not matter how sly or deft
So maybe I don’t hate “you”
Do I? Do any of you?

Turning Pages

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Stacks and stacks of fantastic books

Are laying everywhere you look

I simply cannot get enough

Choosing which one to read is tough

Books take me by the hand

Transport me to a magical land

It’s all in the book in joy and in rage

I cannot stop reading

I must turn the page

All types of books pour out of my room

They spill all over the house and they make my mind bloom

Bloom with thoughts and ideas

With emotion and feeling

Sometimes the books send me reeling

But no matter what

No ands, ifs, or buts,

As soon as I have time and I’m prepared

I cannot wait to touch the pages

To be taken to a place

Where there’s a look of awe upon my face

Lovesick cure

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After all I’ve had to endure

I wonder to myself is there a cure

For the pain

I did sustain

All love I feel

That was real

But now is gone

It feels so wrong

Everyone says time heals

But I think time steals

It’s been years that feel like days

Because despite your sometimes cruel ways

I still love you today

I must be crazy anyway

But I’m lovesick and it needs to stop

Otherwise I’m constantly a major flop

I need to move on from you

So that’s just what I’ll do

I’ll cherish want we had

It wouldn’t perish

I will find someone who gave me that thrill

Somebody who makes me heart be completely still

Right now I’m healing

And I’m reeling

From all my feelings

But it’s okay because my body, mind, and spirit are strong

So when I love another the feeling of pain will be far gone

Because I’ve not be loved in return and

When I learn

That I am that will change my world

That will make my life just swirl

The joy that it will bring me

It will be just pure ecstasy

We will take it all on together

No matter the weather

We will be bound in love

Given to us from above

I cannot want to fall again

But until then

I can say the cure for lovesick

Is time and poetry

Venting my feelings to whoever is kind will lend a ear

A love story they will hear

Having someone care and really be there means everything

The cure for lovesick is time, that’s really it

I have no regrets, my Love was pure, real, and true

And I know from the depths of my soul

I know my one day love will be too

So until we find one another I say

I’ll continue healing until you and I collide one day

Sunburn

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Six days ago I went for sun

On a beautiful Memorial day

The wonderful world it was so blue

I read on the beach, I had to stay

When I left to buy some lemonade

To quench my thirst

It was my mom who saw it first

I burned instead of tanned

That first night of sleep was the worst!

But I had a lot of fun with my good friend

And today as my skin peels

I learned for next time

To proceed with caution

But I don’t regret the fun