I saw you

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After a rough night
My dreams took flight
After a long hard, depressing day
I count on my dreams to take me far away
After pain and tears
After all my fears
After problems and lack of a job
Swallow my life
After all this fills me to the brim with strife
I go to my bed
I wrap around my covers
And instead
Of happy dreams to calm me
I see something else entirely
Through the fog and mist
It was your lips I kissed
Not even in the land of dreams it’s true
I try to escape but I saw it,
I saw you

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Be My Escape

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This song makes all of my emotions stick out at one point. I came upon it by accident, suddenly entranced when a second ago I was nearly asleep. Sitting at the spot light so far away, I turned off my headset, letting go of communication with the other technicians to listen. Again I have it memorized and everyday coming home after a long day of crew, I love listening to the idea of having a special person that would be my escape from this world of pain, drama, and cruelty. I mean nothing bad would happen if I had that escape, because we’d be together and he’d protect me. The beginning “blending in so you won’t even know me” and the last few lines “I fought you for so long
I should have let you in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was safe my own skin
Ohhh but so were you
So were you.” I think he is saying someone has to be the bigger person and both unfortunately are just trying to save themselves from hurt, unwilling to take that chance.

Turn off the sun…

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I want to turn off the sun and get swallowed up by darkness

Because every end has a new beginning

Because once I plunge to the abyss

I will rise like the Phoenix

Rare but not impossible

I know I’m ready

To be renewed into the best version of myself

When I’m really upset and all hope seems lost

When I’m too numb to cry any tears as I shake

I pretend that I can do this

That I can

Turn off the sun and get swallowed up by darkness

Only human

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I feel horrible pain

I feel close to insane

It’s harming my brain

I weep

My heart leaps

I fall and bleed but

I often succeed

I smile and nod

I wonder about God

I run 5 miles

That makes me smile

I sometimes hike

I ride my bike until I take flight

I unite friends

The fun never gets ends

I eat

I wash my entire body what a feat

I think I dream

I feel pain physically and emotionally

I’m only human

Could you love this young woman

Who you seem to think

Is invincible

But really

Hurts like everyone else

Because I’m only human

Despite what you think

Eventually we all sink

To the level that we are

That we are meant to be

I may be strong and capable of wonder

Realize this please

And then we can both be at ease

That I’m only human