Ode to Football with my Dad (throwback)

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Oh football with my dad
Makes me smile just
Think about it, so glad
The two teams fighting
For eternal glory
Each individual team has a story
The Bears have
Made the comeback of
The century, and the
Play of the millennium
My body no longer tame
We jump up and down
We scream and dance around
Lights and more screams
Like aftershocks
Whiffing aftershave and
Hearing broken English
But I wouldn’t have it any other way
Sitting on the couch
Analyzing plays
Wondering if his bad passing is merely a phase
Hot, fresh pizza
Green, glowing jello
Glass after glass of Coca Cola
The Couch is sleep Soothing
But I’m wide awake my team’s reputation
At stake
How many more
Turnovers can I take?
I saw my first safety ever,
But something else
Takes the cake
Spending time with my dad, seeing passion
In his blue eyes
I love him more than
Life itself, my smile is proof
Ode to football with
My dad – you, dad, made me
Motivated, sharp, a good
Debater, analyzer, captivated,
Focused and determined
You gave me my voice of skepticism and passion
To go 4th and goal
Causes an interception
Run 108 yards back
Beautiful deception
Touchdown for us
Game is secured
Till next week
Ode to football with my dad
To the next game, and the hundreds after.

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Older and Frankly Bolder

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In six days I will be older
And I’m frankly bolder
I’m so much stronger
My patience lasts so much longer
I don’t know if I’m wiser
But much to my surprise
People ask me for advice
But soon I will be 29
And I honestly feel fabulous
At first I worried about where I am
In my life
I have graduated and I’m planning the rest
For now
It’s really been a journey
But where has the time gone
It really has flown by
It just feels so wrong and I wonder why
But it also finally feels so very right
To me be
So I say here’s to 29
Here’s to cheers and fears and tears
Here’s to never compromising on who I am
Here’s to Life
Because we only get one

Panic cord

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There is “fear”

And there is fear like that kind

The fear where you cannot see straight 

The fear that swallows you whole

The fear that makes breathing impossible 

I do everything that can think of 

Then 

I pull the panic cord

Just hearing my dad’s voice calms me down and I follow his advice

I take a shower

I go for a walk

I drink a glass of water

And I feel shaky

But after I sleep 

And the day is new 

I’m glad I pulled the panic cord 

The release made me feel renewed

Birthday Surprise <3

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I am sitting next to my twin
We are eating breakfast
And it starts to begin
Happy birthday is being played on the radio
And I know something is up
It’s my brother’s band on the CD
And my entire family is surrounding me
Out of the blue my mom steps out with a cake
And suddenly it’s more than I can take
I’m moved to tears
For all these years of us
My twin and I
After we cut the special lemon cake and all eat
I lift my twin up by her feet
I lift her, hug her, high yes I do
And I cry, I got what I wanted for my birthday – and that is you

Some of the reasons I love October

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 Some of the Reasons I love October 

1) The Foliage that surrounds my world, the deep orange, red, and yellow that make reality collide with fantasy.
2) There are great movies at the Theater!
3) Halloween Wars is on Food Network.
4) I met my best friend in October.
5) Football is in full swing, an experience my dad and I turn into a series of angry and happy screams.
6) The Good Doctor has enchanted me.
7) I am finally comfortable in school,my schedule and otherwise.
8) There are the memories of homecoming week.
9) I turn 29 this year!
10) October is an in between period. It’s fleeting and ever-changing – just like me.
11) Weather is unpredictable; sometimes the best things in life are the ones that are not for sure.
12) The rivalry between the Bears and Packers is on and I know my loyalty.
13) ♫ Marching Band memories, the thrill of the game and the marching that captivates me.♫
14) The last days of the bike trail- I love that sudden and intense rush.
15) It’s the last month I will wear sandals … maybe
16) A warm day that surprises everyone is really nice.
17) I love raking the leaves and basking in the sun.
18) I love crunching the leaves, running purposely crunching them.
19) The Jump from Summer Mode to Sweater weather is on point.
20) Halloween, a time for costumes, candy, pumpkins and the beginning of house decorations.
21) I learned how to ride my bike in October.
22) It’s cold enough for a lovely cup of hot chocolate.
23) The color orange is everything, assaulting my eyes in the best way.
24) I get to see my family from far away because it’s my birthday month.
25) This year I got the ultimate gift for my birthday – a sense of who I am, and who I could be.
26) The color orange is everywhere!!! I ♥ orange! (yes, this one is there twice.)

[My birthday is the 26th so there are 26 reasons!]

How Mighty is your love

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After everything I have been through in my entire life
It has always been the source
Of hope
Of strength
When times were dark
When I was without hope
It was so mighty that no one and no thing could rupture it
I always found my way back down to Earth
Because of the strongest force on earth
Not gravity
But Love

Absolutely Fearless: my life story!

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15 years ago today
In the middle of a bright, warm September day
They had to take me away to the hospital
To see what was going on with me
They ran so many tests and they were all very stressed
I was completely terrified
So I hid and I wept and cried
And frankly I wondered
No one knew what was to come
No one knew where it all came from
From such a happy child to frighteningly sick
My diagnosis was something I never heard of
So I thought wow, I’m so lucky let’s go home
Boy was I wrong as can be
I didn’t know the challenges in front of me

The time began to tick
They told me that there was no way I could finish school no way!
But I was certainly no darn fool
My mom pushed the high school hard and then they pushed back
My mom was a Rock star like J.J. Watt and she got the sack
I went in there with positive spirit
And it’s alive in this poem
Can you hear it?
I finished high school, finished so incredibly strong
Held my head extremely high, not a thing could be wrong

Then community college came along
I always knew I wanted to write
So I took that dream and I held it so tight I clutched that dream with all my might
And one night in 2010 I began to have real joy again
I wrote for the school paper and with utter glee
The words and phrases they just came to me: epiphany
Movie Reviews were my thing
God, I could really make the page sing
I’m in clubs like ecology and making friends
But that’s not how my story ends

In 2013 I discovered my saving grace – Shimer college
I decided that was my new dream
The pages on the table literally gleamed
The sun a ray of light casting hope on the page
As I took that pamphlet that my remarkable teacher had
I thought cool, now I’m going to MY school
A school of insight, bliss, and love
A school that was high above
Anything I could ever foresee
And then wonderful things happened to me
There was pain and suffering still
But I made it because I said I will

I made wonderful friends and learned things I couldn’t fathom
My studies were my love and joy
My friends were abundant and present
My classes were quite demanding
Their gift to me from my teachers :their complete understanding
I went on a spectrum of studies
And I had some grief and strive
But I had more in me and had the time of my life
Orange Horse and Solidarity
(Because everyone has seen the phoenix fly)
Two school events
Relished by me
After Aristotle, Darwin, Copernicus, Lerner and so much more it came
After Priestley, Dante, Shakespeare, Bell Hooks, and Woolf
After Gödel, Einstein, Virgil, Kant, and Augustine
After Humanities 3 and wondering deeply about my faith
After Fem Theories and two incredible senior classes
The big day, the end of me as a student came
April 29th 2017 was a day
Where they handed me the diploma and I internally screamed hurray!
I will never forget hearing my name and walking the stage to my happy ending
And a new beginning

Where I am now compared to where I was
All the hard work I put in and my family and friends
All the dark places I found myself in
I got out of them with perseverance, I got the win
Why?
It was because of love
Because you don’t quit when times are so tough
You are strong enough
So I will rise, with a loving family
And a college degree
And for all those who ever doubted me
You only ignited my passion to succeed
And now at 28 sometimes when I think that I’m too late
Too late to live my life
That I missed out
I pause
I take a moment, I take a breath, and realize
I’m just getting started
There’s so much life left to go