Soulmate

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As our fingers intertwine

I am yours

And you are mine

The fascinating movies we watch

The delicious things we cook and bake

I know that our paths crossing was no mistake

When we are together the world just stops moving

Our communication continues improving and our connection is pure

Of this I am sure

When I’m in your arms

There’s no place I’d rather be

To see your beautiful eyes looking upon me

Your love and care for me is your finest trait

And after searching my entire life I know for certain

I found my soulmate

My heart is with you wherever you go

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It was a very difficult day for me to even grasp

I received some very bad news and it deeply hurt my soul and made me gasp

You knew what to do make make it okay

With a few beautiful words that I continue to replay

Your words said something magical that made everything better, no longer did I feel low

Because you said “My heart is with you wherever you go”

Love will win

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Words cannot come out

Even though I have no doubt

How much I love you

It’s true

I am not plagued by doubt

I’m plagued by fear

Fear of losing you

Fear of no knowing what to do

Fear because I know it’s true

That you love me and I love you

I’m startled by how quickly friendship turned to like

And like turned to love

I know people will doubt

I know they won’t believe me at all

In the past I’ve put up an enormous wall

So tall that no one could climb through

Until the day that I met you

Now I feel the love in your touch and kiss

When we aren’t together it’s that feeling I miss

I miss the way you smile

The one I would walk a mile just to see

Your beautiful eyes staring back at me

I do surrender

I do give in

Because it happened now

Despite my qualms

Love will win

…And your Love is what Lingers…

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I feel horrific and sudden pain

Shooting daggers throughout my brain

It feels as if I am absolutely insane

Except I know that I am not

So I spot my headphones

And I put them on quickly

I scroll through my music swiftly

The daggers stab me over and over again

I don’t know when

When will it end

I’ve had this condition for so long

So because nothing helps I turn on a song

And when the piano and cello starts

I immediately fall apart more

Because it’s too beautiful

So I search again for a tune

To calm me down as I stare at the disappearing moon

I find something that will soothe me

And I listen to it quietly

It relaxes my wild mind

And calms my shaken nerves

Something I think I deserve

16 years of fighting to feel not sick

If I had the magic potion to cure me

I’d drink it up quick

Instead I cope, I deal

Sometimes I wonder if any of it’s real

Then I remember that soon today

My love and I will be together and I say

Everything will be okay

Because despite the illness that rages in my mind

Despite the doctors

Despite the medication

Despite side effects

Despite indifference

Despite sweating all night

Despite the anxiety, the fear

Despite the feeling utterly lost sometimes

Despite it all

When you stroke my hand slowly with you soft finger

When you tell me sweet things and smile at me, demonstrating in many ways how much you care

When you tell me “I choose you”

When you kiss me and my heart melts

All the pain goes away

And your love is what lingers

And as long as I’m with you

Which hopefully is forever

We can forget our suffering

Our different but similar pain

And remember that

Love cures all wounds

And I feel that so deeply in my heart

Whenever you are next to me

That’s where you belong

And I hope

That’s always where you’ll be

The Calm Shadows of the Morning

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When I awake, I find great joy in the calm shadows of the morning
I shower quickly, swiftly after I take my medicine
I feel calmer now, lightly somehow
I listen to music: to classical, to BTS, to Michael Bublé, to Ruelle,
To Linkin Park, to Andrea Bocelli, to Piano Guys, to Eminem, to Kasey Musgraves,
To Lewis Capaldi, to Taylor Swift, to Shawn Mendes, to Enrique Iglesias,
To Jacob Lee, to Dashboard Confessional, to Hinder, to Echosmith
To Ben Platt, To Panic! At the Disco and many, many more
Every morning my mind has different musical numbers in store
After I listen to things songs
Then my mind can get along
With the feelings I feel
And the things I think
With the water I sip
And the coffee I drink
After I have appreciated all these songs
Holding back the urge to sing along
I throw on a coat and I go
Braving the weather –
Cold, Hot, Ice, Snow…
Whatever it is away I go
On my journey for fresh air
My body, mind and soul say thank you once I return
After each day of this, one thing I learn
Self-care and being self-aware is what I need
And I have it down to a science indeed =)

My prince

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A chariot (your car) awaits as I step out the door

You open my door, make sure I have my seatbelt and off we go

You drive slowly, carefully through the snow

We head to dinner and a movie now

I’m sitting in your car wondering how

How did I get so lucky with a man like you?

A man that is kind, understanding, caring and makes me dreams come true

The day is effortless, the day is fun

We laugh and joke until the day is done

When we saw the movie you held my hand

And stroked my finger gently

It felt like heaven please help me

To understand this

How after all this searching and hoping we shared a goodnight kiss

I stepped out of you car and realized this

I am your princess and you are my prince

You care for me in every way

In your arms I’ll forever stay

Until the next time we meet once more

I can only imagine what life has in store for two people falling head over heels

I hope you sleep well and I will too

And one day all our dreams will come true

Because when I’m near you, it’s a Fairytale

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Holding your hand as the piano plays

Has my world in a daze

We then walk through the world together

Braving the chilly, windy weather

We talking openly about how we feel

Slowly but surely it feels real

At the end of the night I would be remiss

If I do not mention our passionate kiss

Then you drove away and I stood, headed inside

But everything I could ever need to heal my heart and love again

Only you can provide

Your smile melts me heart

My brain is torn apart with thought

I don’t mind feeling like I’m in a dream

Because when I’m near you, it’s a fairytale

I’m going to bottle up every moment we spend together

And when I have a storm to weather

I know in my heart of hearts

You are there for me