Dreams. They Never Retire.

Standard

Dreams. Some of us have them. Some of us do not. Sometimes. All the time. Somewhere and everywhere. There are sometimes built over time with posters in bed rooms, movies running in our minds, and hope in our hearts. As with some movies, these can take unexpected and sometimes unfortunate turns. Because sometimes we get sick. We forfeit the championship game before the try-outs even start. We hang up our soccer shoes and remember things like the nick names we got while we attempted to fulfill them. Bruiser was my nickname and a part of my dream. Soccer was my sport, defense was my position. Then after eighth grade I got sick, and sophomore year called for no more P.E. period for me. Funny how some dreams bring other ones into light. The dream to create. Write. Compose. To be part of something bigger than yourself. To change views. How to be humble. My junior year I stepped into this new world and new dreams were pressed on fast forward. Dreams. You never really forget your dreams. To be a writer, runner, and Lover. They stay with you as you complete your morning jog, your bacon cheese burger, your chores, your romantic dinner, your fight with your roommate. As much as you try to alienate yourself from them. They call to you. To be social was another dream I never fully held on to but my bubbly personality came through and I have wonderful friends. Love, it seemed to always be slipping from my grasp when finally it seemed it had never existed. Perhaps this is the year. Now on the in-betweens, I’m trying to envision new dreams. Not to replace old ones. To be a smile now. You see funny thing about dreams. They never retire.

One day you will see me

Standard

One day when you see me

When you really see me

Against the glow of the night

When I hold you so very tight

Until I hope with all my might

That one day you’ll see me

One day I’ll wear my hair down

One day I wear a beautiful gown

We’ll go all around town

And one day you’ll see me

If only I were enough now

In my jeans and soft gray sweater

And jokes and laughs and delight

We’d stay up cracking up all night

If we could spend an afternoon together

Despite the frigid cold weather

Then we could finally be together

And then you’ll see me

You’ll see my joy, my hope, my fears, my flaws, my strength, and hope you’ll want me still

You’ll want me for who I am

The way I want you, need you, dream about you

But until then

I lay awake

Deep breaths I take

Thinking of your jokes, your laugh

Your adorable dog and hard working character

Your blonde hair and beautiful eyes

I’ve seen you all this time

And made ever effort I could

To be open and vulnerable to you

So I wonder and question what will be

The biggest question in my heart:

Will you ever see me?

When we meet…

Standard

It’s been only a week since your entered my life.
I like that you joke
You poke fun at things
My heart sings
Because it’s cute
My heart gleams
When you write sweet dreams
Everything is so new
But the one thing that is true
Is that I won’t know
Until I’ve met you
So far you are funny, kind, understanding, and charming
I find my quick feelings of affection towards you slightly alarming
I don’t want to fall too hard to fast
But somehow in my heart, I know you’ll catch me
I hope you are who I dream you to be
When I see you and you see me
I can see you walking towards me in my mind
And I hope a wonderful encounter full of laughter, joy and fun isn’t far behind.

Self-destruct

Standard

You gave me all the love
All the love
In your quiet, subtle way
That’s why it meant so much
Although different worlds
Different views
Different accents
Different beds
Different skies
Different states
You listened to me
You were patient
You tried to push me
To get closer
You opened up to me
I freaked out
I ran away
I fell on my face
Now far from grace
I’m so blue
Trying to get close to you
Am I even breathing?

Sweet lullabies of love

Standard

I pull on my Valentine’s Day sweater with care

The one with different colored lipstick kisses that makes me smile

I paint my nails a deep red

I send out wishes to all my family

I eat my oatmeal

Love my body with goodness

That’s my Valentine’s Day

I am grateful that I have so much love in my life

And one day soon

I will swoon

Over him

And my Valentine’s Day

Will include a romantic dinner

Roses or lilies

And most importantly

Someone that loves me with their entire heart

We will cuddle we will kiss

The won’t be a hint that I miss

We will romance

We will dance

We will appreciate the little things

We will hear our hearts sing

Sweet lullabies of love

Today I’m saying goodbye

Standard

Drained of all air

You’re my greatest nightmare

Because at night I’m filled with dread and fright

Even though you’re not there

I still care and I’m scared

I let you in my life

And it cuts like a knife

That you won’t let me go

I said we shouldn’t be together but you said oh no

You tried to make me stay

You tried so things would go your way

Not today

Today I’m saying goodbye

To all your lies

To all false truths

To all forced things

To saying you love me

But making fun of me

By saying hurtful things

By not giving me straight answers

By saying there’s no one our there for me

All manipulation

Imagine my jubilation

Once I heal

Once you’re gone

Because without you

I’ll live it up a little more every day

I’m already seeing myself so differently

Just let go of me

And if you don’t

I’m going to cut the cord

I will leave

I will be strong

Your cruel words won’t be heard long

I cannot wait to be free

And find the opposite of you

Someone who lets me be me

And off into the twilight we walked…

Standard

Shielded from great harm

You were more than the alarm

That carried my through thick, choking smoke

You lifted me out and you nearly perished

Trying to rescue my soul

From the flames

Some would declare you insane

But no matter how big the flames got

I know I have a love that simply can’t be bought

I knew you loved me a lot

But I never knew you loved me this much

As our bodies touch

Your strong arms envelope me in a warm embrace

I think the world I know can face

Because when my world was on fire

You protected me from it

That’s something I will never get

I will never understand your sacrifice

And how anything I give back could suffice

I will never quite see

Why you protected me

When you have everything to lose

And nothing to gain

I try but I can’t refrain

From sobbing desperate tears

Because my greatest fears

Have disappeared

And what remains is you

You took me from harm’s way

And it’s in your gentle, firm arms that I want to stay

Can it be this way forever?

Where we are stronger together

Where our love is strong and true

Where you say I don’t have to repay you

You say I already did

I’m thinking you just kid

You look at me with serious eyes

And to my surprise you say

It’s all the little things you do, Maria that go such a long way

You remember the nights that I cooked dinner

You remember how I said you didn’t have to be thinner, that I loved you just the way you are

You recall when I saved you the last piece of pecan pie

You say so many reasons why

You say I bought you a special book

And everywhere you went you took it

You said have a look

And sure I enough what did I see

But a rare copy of The Great Gatsby

He continued to name all thing I did and and as he began to reminisce

I decided and stole the perfect, passionate kiss

He only grinned longingly

And off into the twilight we walked

Him and me