Broken

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Bloody knuckles

Broken dreams

Tears stream

I scream

But no one can hear

Not one can lend an ear

My watch smashes and breaks

How much will it take

Before I smash too?

Before it’s much more than

Bleeding knuckles

Broken dreams

When will I be okay

When will anybody love me

When will the hate stop

When will I see the top

When?

Until then

It’s bleeding knuckles

Broken dreams

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Over and over again

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I feel completely stuck

My life run amuck

So I play one song

And I sing along

Until the pain is truly gone

But is it?

No, so instead

The song plays on my phone

And in my head

I’m trying to let the music heal

I want my dad heart to feel

Happy again

Try as I may

To my great dismay

It’s not working this time

So I accept the now

Accept the pain

And I play it

Over and over again

When the Soul Cries

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It’s is the body really omitting all the tears, at first

It’s shaking violently, sobbing

It’s a deep puncturing cry that the soul feels and reacts to

The soul squirms at first, it cannot handle the pain the body feels.

The soul in its wisdom tries to comfort the body, doing everything it can to relax the body, stop the agony.

It calms it strokes the body trying to make the pain flow away.

It does not always work and chaos ensues.

So the soul begins to cry along lacking in its comfort, causing the cry

To be an entire other level of pain, hurt, despondence.

The pain becomes unbearable as the body and soul are both under attack at the same moment.

It’s upsetting and when it finally ends

The soul now has a deep mark

One that over time heals, sometimes…

Voice

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Never allowed to talk

Never allowed to be myself

Never allowed to have my opinion

Constantly interrupted

Conversation abruptly ceasing

As my angry is increasing

But I let them talk because

I sit there inside I’m numb

I feel so stupid, I feel so dumb

Right now I don’t have a choice

But once I get a job and move out

I’ll finally have a voice

Misunderstood

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I wake up completely fine or so I think
There it goes again after I had only water to drink
I throw up into the sink
Barely making to the bathroom I scream at the sky
Asking God, for the billionth time why?
Since February I’m sick and they cannot figure it out
I know it does no good to scream and shout
So I go outside and I decide to sing
About happy things not my suffering
I get in trouble for my singing which is no surprise
As for the billionth time it brings tears to my eyes
How can someone so kind, loving, and genuinely good
Be so grossly misunderstood?

Ode to Lonely Nights

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Oh, lonely Nights
The stars are dimly shining
I lay writing
Hoping one day
I won’t be so lonely
And that I could read this poem
To someone besides you
I have a feeling it will never happen, true
As the cloud that masks the sun
Or the firm looks of okay that masks a breakdown of self
Oh, Lonely nights when my lover
If my lover breaks my heart
I will remember these lonely nights where I did start
At the beginning – square one
Before hypothetical heartbreak starts
But please lonely night end soon
I can spread staring, penetrating the moon
Lonely nights thank you for alone time
It may have been a bit too much
For now my body fears every touch
May have been a bit much
For now my body fears every touch
Get close, tug down shirt
Slowly back down before you get hurt
Lastly lonely nights
Although I am currently hateful
You make me grateful
For everything, faithful too.

March 7, 2016 and this poem still haunts me

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A man with a plan he is not

Not any decent plan, anyway.

He belittles, rants, and offends

The rich he defends

In the building of his wall

He’d isolate us all

America is great because of:

Diversity of people

Respect

He does not have respect towards

Diversity.

That sets us apart and makes us remarkable.

The unique flavor of individuality is been threatened.

It boggles the mind that someone could support a man that says such offensive things.

Why are we allowing this circus to continue?

Truly, it’s a circus and the future of America is not a joke.

He is a joke.

We need a clear minded, reasonable, and understanding leader. He is not.

Let’s focus on making America great again with someone else leading us forth towards a great future.

 

Update : Is there hope for the kind of America that is being created?