Scattered Soul

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Pieces of my soul
Float around the earth
Wondering constantly
About their worth
The truth is
Alone or together
They are priceless
I run endlessly
Soaking up my soul
There are cracks in it
In my beautiful soul
Somewhere out there is the love
That will fill in the creases
And solidify my soul
With his soul
Until
It’s smooth and whole
Until then,
Can you give my scattered soul a chance?

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Running through my mind

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I swallow water
Half a glass
And I take off
I race towards you
I can’t catch you
But I will
As you cross
Traverse
And stampage through
For so long
I will keep pace with you
I will embrace you
Because it’s you
That’s been running through my mind

Everytime… (throwback)

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Every time I see your face
I’m suddenly slowly my pace
Then you turn away…
I feel my heart breaking
Every time I hear your voice
I stop and listen, by choice.
Then you walk away.
I fear my headache is here to stay

Every time you talk to me
I hide my love for thee
Then you just leave
I’m left to grieve
Every time you say “we’re friends”
I want to be more
Then I imagine you with her (the talking never ends)
I know my hope is out the door
“We’ll always be friends”, I know
But more than that, no.
For every time you look at her
I know you are never going to look at me
That way and slowly my hope for love
Fades away…

Dancing

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A piano plays softly now
We meet in the middle somehow
Our bodies touch, and suddenly
In this world it will be just you and me.
Nothing sexual or rough
Your hands not tough but soft
Are on my waist
My eyes meet your eyes
That was a pleasurable surprise
As your penetrating stare becomes
One of longing, of pure love
I glimpse into a heavenly paradise
Beautiful blue glamorous green
Compose this island-like scene
Long after the music has ceased
Moving slowly on a cloud
Not sexual or promiscuous or flashy
But a starry-eyed love
Please, don’t abandon me tonight
For along with your leaving leaves my light
I can’t risk never seeing heaven again
And only in our dance
Can it be found

Feelings Flying through my flesh

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Feelings Flying through my Flesh
I cannot comprehend
These feelings that have amassed in my mind
They are so horribly, shockingly strong
I literally cannot breathe another breath
They, thoughts, tug mercilessly at my collar and choke me
Suddenly, without warning, they let go!
There is a calm stirring
But The Feelings of worry are growing louder
So I lie down on the pale blue carpet
Flat, dark room, relaxed
I set a 15 minute alarm
Then I go away in my mind until I am almost asleep
When I get up I feel so incredibly alive
I can breath
My collar has let go, a great release
The fresh air flows so much that I’m drunk with air
Praise the Heavens
I am calm

Don’t you dare love me, Don’t you dare help me, but hold me as I do

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Beneath the sheets
Beneath the layers
Beneath the content nature
Of me
Beneath the conversation
Beneath my calm demeanor
Of me
Is someone searching
Is someone swimming
Is someone diving
For meaning
Behind the smile
Behind the laughter
Behind the banter
Behind the neat, tidy, polite, loving me
Lies chaos
Lies flames and fires
Lies fear
Lies regret
I’m a jumble of pieces
That equate to my soul
I want to figure it out myself
Don’t you dare try
Don’t you dare help
I need to desperately do this for myself
Don’t you dare care about me
Don’t you dare love me
I don’t want to take you
Shake you
Break you
It’s too late though
I know you do
Your stare
Your glare
Your grin
You soak me in
Much to my chagrin
You don’t just allow me
You want my jumble of pieces
A part of your whole
Don’t you dare help me
But you can hold me as I do

To Protect him

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He’s ill again
I mean, he has a condition
Several actually
I have to suspend my worry
But I have to
Protect him from stress
Protect him from getting worked up
Protect him from noise
Protect him
I stay quiet
My own pain festers and swells
My own pain threatens to swallow me up
My own pain suffocates me
I put up a book to read
And suddenly I’m out of the water
I can breath
My relief is temporary
My pain begins to fester again
But I’ll do whatever I have to
To protect him
But, in all of this, who will protect me?