Hurricane Brain

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It hasn’t really been this bad
I’m beyond sad
I’m numb as they come
So many things going wrong
I’m trying to be strong
I got a message yesterday
That caused agony
My stomach is sick
The cause unknown
Trying to fix something I broke
Before it’s too late
Right now
It’s twirling
It’s swirling
It’s swelling
I can’t bare the pain
Of my
Hurricane Brain

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Desire’s got a reckless hold on me

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Dripping of desire

Desire of so much more

Desire of my own life

Desire of a great job

Desire of true love and lust

Desire of perspiring until I lose the weight

Desire of the 10k race

Desire off all my goals

One day at a time

Desire

Dripping desire

Of reckless hope

Reckless hold on me

Desire’s got a reckless hold on me

Ice, then – Metamorphosis

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It swallowed me
Half of me hates all I am
Hates all that I have become
Who am I?
What happened?
I fell through the ice
Thinner
Until it cracked
I almost drowned
And then hypothermia came knocking
Now,
I just thread water
I just get by
I DON’T WANT TO JUST GET BY
It is only a matter of time before
I fall through the ice again
This time
I know
I’m ready
I won’t fall through
I will be just fine
Getting by
Then I will
Pick up
Move away
Shadow and now
A ghost later
New life
That means more than getting by
So much more
I emerge from the ice
Like a phoenix from the ashes
I am changed

A new success, a new hope is near

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In April I became a college graduate

It was truly a challenge

But I never once quit

No matter the challenge I never gave up

Of course there were times where I had enough

And sometimes I wouldn’t even know why

I would shut down, break down and cry

But all the fears

From all those years

Melted away

As I made my way

Across the stage

And as I grabbed my diploma

I turned the page

Wild success

I wore my new dress

Because I have backed down

I knew that with my illness

There was a greater fight

I worked tirelessly every day and every night

I kept a schedule and I slept

I achieved my goal of my greatness goal which was a degree

Now the job struggle is real

Sometimes I think I cannot deal

But I recall all the things I did to get here

And I now a new success, a new hope is near

If I work hard, prayer harder, and think smarter

I will have a new chapter appear

I didn’t work so hard just to quit

I am a woman of sharp wit

So I will buckle down and no matter what happens now

I vow that I will

Keep on going and more still

When I fail and fall I will get back up

Dust myself off, ice the bruises

Because Maria Pondo never loses

While fighting the good fight

And while doing that my heart will ignite!

That is my vow

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Collectively, Respectfully, Introspectively
You have to live it boldly
You have to live with vigorous reckless abandon
You have to tirelessly spin
In order to win
Win the race
Take first place
Because nobody knows
What’s gonna happen tomorrow
It may be joy and it may be sorrow
So I will borrow a phrase
From my mind
And remind myself and all of you
That here’s what I’ll do
I will rise up
I will rise like like a wave
I will rise up
In spite of the fear in my heart
I will understand
That what’s at stake is in the palm of my hand
So with vigorous reckless abandon
And deathly precision
I pursue my vision
To be, to live, to love
To be unapologetically whoever I want
And flaunt that I choose
To be happy and to heal that bruise
Of not knowing, I want to live for now
That is my vow