A new success, a new hope is near

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In April I became a college graduate

It was truly a challenge

But I never once quit

No matter the challenge I never gave up

Of course there were times where I had enough

And sometimes I wouldn’t even know why

I would shut down, break down and cry

But all the fears

From all those years

Melted away

As I made my way

Across the stage

And as I grabbed my diploma

I turned the page

Wild success

I wore my new dress

Because I have backed down

I knew that with my illness

There was a greater fight

I worked tirelessly every day and every night

I kept a schedule and I slept

I achieved my goal of my greatness goal which was a degree

Now the job struggle is real

Sometimes I think I cannot deal

But I recall all the things I did to get here

And I now a new success, a new hope is near

If I work hard, prayer harder, and think smarter

I will have a new chapter appear

I didn’t work so hard just to quit

I am a woman of sharp wit

So I will buckle down and no matter what happens now

I vow that I will

Keep on going and more still

When I fail and fall I will get back up

Dust myself off, ice the bruises

Because Maria Pondo never loses

While fighting the good fight

And while doing that my heart will ignite!

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Absolutely Fearless: my life story!

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15 years ago today
In the middle of a bright, warm September day
They had to take me away to the hospital
To see what was going on with me
They ran so many tests and they were all very stressed
I was completely terrified
So I hid and I wept and cried
And frankly I wondered
No one knew what was to come
No one knew where it all came from
From such a happy child to frighteningly sick
My diagnosis was something I never heard of
So I thought wow, I’m so lucky let’s go home
Boy was I wrong as can be
I didn’t know the challenges in front of me

The time began to tick
They told me that there was no way I could finish school no way!
But I was certainly no darn fool
My mom pushed the high school hard and then they pushed back
My mom was a Rock star like J.J. Watt and she got the sack
I went in there with positive spirit
And it’s alive in this poem
Can you hear it?
I finished high school, finished so incredibly strong
Held my head extremely high, not a thing could be wrong

Then community college came along
I always knew I wanted to write
So I took that dream and I held it so tight I clutched that dream with all my might
And one night in 2010 I began to have real joy again
I wrote for the school paper and with utter glee
The words and phrases they just came to me: epiphany
Movie Reviews were my thing
God, I could really make the page sing
I’m in clubs like ecology and making friends
But that’s not how my story ends

In 2013 I discovered my saving grace – Shimer college
I decided that was my new dream
The pages on the table literally gleamed
The sun a ray of light casting hope on the page
As I took that pamphlet that my remarkable teacher had
I thought cool, now I’m going to MY school
A school of insight, bliss, and love
A school that was high above
Anything I could ever foresee
And then wonderful things happened to me
There was pain and suffering still
But I made it because I said I will

I made wonderful friends and learned things I couldn’t fathom
My studies were my love and joy
My friends were abundant and present
My classes were quite demanding
Their gift to me from my teachers :their complete understanding
I went on a spectrum of studies
And I had some grief and strive
But I had more in me and had the time of my life
Orange Horse and Solidarity
(Because everyone has seen the phoenix fly)
Two school events
Relished by me
After Aristotle, Darwin, Copernicus, Lerner and so much more it came
After Priestley, Dante, Shakespeare, Bell Hooks, and Woolf
After Gödel, Einstein, Virgil, Kant, and Augustine
After Humanities 3 and wondering deeply about my faith
After Fem Theories and two incredible senior classes
The big day, the end of me as a student came
April 29th 2017 was a day
Where they handed me the diploma and I internally screamed hurray!
I will never forget hearing my name and walking the stage to my happy ending
And a new beginning

Where I am now compared to where I was
All the hard work I put in and my family and friends
All the dark places I found myself in
I got out of them with perseverance, I got the win
Why?
It was because of love
Because you don’t quit when times are so tough
You are strong enough
So I will rise, with a loving family
And a college degree
And for all those who ever doubted me
You only ignited my passion to succeed
And now at 28 sometimes when I think that I’m too late
Too late to live my life
That I missed out
I pause
I take a moment, I take a breath, and realize
I’m just getting started
There’s so much life left to go

Absolutely Fearless

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15 years ago today
In the middle of a bright, warm September day
They had to take me away to the hospital
To see what was going on with me
They ran so many tests and they were all very stressed
I was completely terrified
So I hid and I wept and cried
And frankly I wondered
No one knew what was to come
No one knew where it all came from
From such a happy child to frighteningly sick

My diagnosis was something I never heard of
So I thought wow, I’m so lucky let’s go home
Boy was I wrong as can be
I didn’t know the challenges in front of me

The time began to tick
They told me that there was no way I could finish school no way!
But I was certainly no darn fool
My mom pushed the high school hard and then they pushed back
My mom was a Rock star like J.J. Watt and she got the sack
I went in there with positive spirit
And it’s alive in this poem
Can you hear it?
I finished high school, finished so incredibly strong
Held my head extremely high, not a thing could be wrong

Then community college came along
I always knew I wanted to write
So I took that dream and I held it so tight – I clutched that dream with all my might
And one night in 2010 I began to have real joy again
I wrote for the school paper and with utter glee
The words and phrases they just came to me: epiphany
Movie Reviews were my thing
God, I could really make the page sing
I’m in clubs like ecology and making friends
But that’s not how my story ends

In 2013 I discovered my saving grace – Shimer college
I decided that was my new dream
The pages on the table literally gleamed
The sun a ray of light casting hope on the page
As I took that pamphlet that my remarkable teacher had
I thought cool, now I’m going to MY school
A school of insight, bliss, and love
A school that was high above
Anything I could ever foresee
And then wonderful things happened to me
There was pain and suffering still
But I made it because I said I will

I made true friends and learned things I couldn’t fathom
My studies were my love and joy
My friends were abundant and present
My classes were quite demanding
Their gift to me from my teachers: their complete understanding
I went on a spectrum of studies
And I had some grief and strive
But I had more in me and had the time of my life
Orange Horse and Solidarity
(Because everyone has seen the phoenix fly)
Two school events
Relished by me

 

After Aristotle, Darwin, Copernicus, Lerner and so much more it came
After Priestley, Dante, Shakespeare, Bell Hooks, and Woolf
After Gödel, Einstein, Virgil, Kant, and Augustine
After Humanities 3 and wondering deeply about my faith
After Fem Theories and two incredible senior classes
The big day, the end of me as a student came
April 29th 2017 was a day
Where they handed me the diploma and I internally screamed hurray!
I will never forget hearing my name and walking the stage to my happy ending
And a new beginning

Where I am now compared to where I was
All the hard work I put in and my family and friends
All the dark places I found myself in
I got out of them with perseverance, I got the win
Why?
It was because of love
Because you don’t quit when times are so tough
You are strong enough
So I will rise, with a loving family
And a college degree
And for all those who ever doubted me
You only ignited my passion to succeed
And now at 28 sometimes when I think that I’m too late
Too late to live my life
That I missed out
I pause
I take a moment, I take a breath, and realize
I’m just getting started
There’s so much life left to go

The Classics: Let’s talk Citizen Kane

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Citizen Kane features all different film forms starting with German Expressionism which includes a foreboding, dark distorted home. In the beginning of the film and throughout a majority of the film there is a strong focus on everyone trying to figure out why Charles last words before death were “rosebud”. They thought it meant something significant. His home seems quite surreal with all of the statues and other items placed everywhere. Kane is a newspaper tycoon. We learn about his wives and his affair. Then we are hit with a flashback, one of five that gives us a peek at Kane’s childhood and life after that. In this flashback he is riding on a sled at the beginning and so full of joy, one he could never replicate as an adult. Then his mom says she is giving Charles (Charlie) Kane away, “so you can’t hurt him anymore” which she directs to the husband. I think that the father abused his son and that is why they gave him away. The second flashback is of a 25 year old Kane and in it we meet Kane’s best friend. Another flashback consists of Kane being congratulated. In this scene we get a bit of surrealism when women in costumes and a marching band roll in to celebrate Kane; metric and rhymic montage with the party.

Kane’s scandal is an example of metric and tonial montage because we feel badly for him. Kane suddenly wants the world’s largest diamond. It feels like a screwball comedy for a minute when he decides to marry the singer. Another example of surrealism occurs when a bird flies across the screen for no reason.  We then go back to the German Expressionism style when Kane is in a distorted mansion seen at the beginning of the film. Kane slaps his wife because of her complaining and she starts destroying statues. She follows her actions by saying how he never lets her go anyway and that they do not see enough people (friends) at this castle. Another flashback brings us to the end and we go full circle. This flashback occurs where Kane is dead, never having the love he always wanted and still no one knows what “rosebud” means. They are burning all the wood in the establishment and suddenly stamped on the back of a sled we see the word rosebud, an example of intelligence montage because suddenly we understand what was meant by Charles’s utterance of the word rosebud.

A movie many didn’t see, Worth a chance

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Two Face

How can you enjoy living when everything around you is swirling dangerously in a cyclone? This question plagued me as I witnessed The Social Network. When I saw the preview I was so excited for this film I stood in place, forgetting about the world around me. The song creep by Radiohead, remade by Scala, explains Mark Zukerburg so well! (I don’t belong here.) It is so much about friendship, betrayal, and life, and not centered around facebook completely. The themes of greed and loneliness travel throughout. In fact I do not have a facebook account and I truly enjoyed this film. The main Mark Zukerburg, is introverted and is starving to belong to a sorority, The Phoenix. His friend gets invited and this is where they start to drift apart. Mark is SO angry that he is not in. Although Eduardo has the money so he is important. I can feel the tension cutting the air and see it. The non-verbal eye contact in this film is astounding! This film’s director (who has done Zodiac and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) brilliantly takes us through a series of flashbacks between the deposition and what led up to it as we see Eduardo and Mark’s friendship dissolve because of the creation of “the facebook” which just becomes “facebook”at the suggestion of Sean Parker. He is in the film long enough to leave me impressed. He created Napster, is broke, and is a villain!

Played masterfully by Justin Timberlake who I expected to butcher his role, did a remarkable job as the puppet master of this movie. Although Eduardo tries to warn Mark, Sean Parker has him strung on by the end of their first meeting at a restaurant as Mark hangs on to every word. Eduardo is our hero in the story but he cannot save Mark because Mark has been taken by computers, technology and greed. The movie shows Harvard’s beauty but human cruelty. When three Harvard elites want Mark to help them launch a website, he agrees. They end up suing although I watched as one of the twins did not want to sue for the longest time because he “was a gentleman of Harvard”. The lawsuits really interested me, and although this movie goes so quickly, everything is a joke to Mark. The cinematography, the lighting, and the quick way that Zuckerburg talks are all absolutely genius. There was an empty theater but I adored so much about what this film means. Mark Zuckerburg is truly two-face, pretending friendship, but hypnotized to making a name for himself. 500 million friends now, by to whom is he really connected to? I feel like he has become a computer a robot, with no emotion. Even if you do not like Facebook like me, you might find this film captivating. So blinded by compulsiveness Mark dies inside. This move truly displays acting and images that left me pondering and awestruck. It is blended with rich fragrant spices of sex, alcohol, violence, and, fury. After all the lawsuits it is about this – “young people who will stop at nothing to get what they want.”

Spawn of Satan

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I sit uneasy

I stand tall

I pull and press the cold torment in my hand

My dirty jean apron is tied

My cloudy red bucket nearby

The music in the distance is the only soothing thing

With the gray clay

I fixate my mind on a small perfect vase

And for a moment in space

It exists

I glace over at my tools

At my damp pick and my filthy needle

My hands bone dry

I make three coils

They are stacked on the wheel

Oh Coils I hate the false joy you bring

It makes my heart sing

A lovely but misleading tune

Makes me look like a loon

So I work work work

Faster, concentrate

I combine you into one piece

Low and behold like rotting mold

On my toast

Revolting

You infuriate me

I plot ways to clash swords with you and win

Yet outwards travels the clay

Like a Mayan Temple

You, coils torture like a bully

You get inside my mind

You mess with calm

And create the perfect storm for madness

Maybe I stabbed my hand with the chisel

But so many failures of the toll of the coil

The toil of making circles makes me

Dizzy and you collapse my senses

Like a bully

You always reemerge

More hurtful

I stack and combine three more

It is woman verses nature

Maria against the coil

I will spin you around and make you puke

But again I have to start again

With what strength I have left

I stand up

I sadly but angrily crumple and thrust

You into the bin

Evil coil

You make my blood boil

You make me bleed my own blood

I have nothing to show for all these hours

Except your victory

And some blood

I curse the day you were born

Circles represent forever,

Perpetually they go on

So Forever I wage battle

Guerrilla Warfare

My fist smack and the table rattle

Until I collapse

Or you melt

Spawn of Satan