Taking the same train

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Tears streaming down onto my skirt
Tears completely drowning my shirt
But I no longer care
I just sit there
Drip, Drip, Drip
Until I can cry no more
I exit through the door
And take my train home
And wonder what could have been
If we ended up together
Then I won’t be soaked in tears
I wouldn’t be bewildered
Because we would be a unit
A team, lovers and friends
Taking the same train
To the same home

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I hope they are tears of joy …

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Cold, salty, and hopelessly wet

Doused with deep regret

No I can’t stop them yet

From falling down my face

Nothing can replace

The feeling when I felt safe with you

The feeling was strong and true

You betrayed me like all guys do

But I know you’re not all like that

I know you’re not all to blame

I know that my ex wanted to partake in a love game

My heart shattered into three

I’ll glue it back just you wait and see

I’ve healed almost all the way

So today I say

It no longer controls me

The next times they come

Pouring down my face

I hope they are tears of joy

That I met the man no one could ever replace

Broken

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Bloody knuckles

Broken dreams

Tears stream

I scream

But no one can hear

Not one can lend an ear

My watch smashes and breaks

How much will it take

Before I smash too?

Before it’s much more than

Bleeding knuckles

Broken dreams

When will I be okay

When will anybody love me

When will the hate stop

When will I see the top

When?

Until then

It’s bleeding knuckles

Broken dreams

Blur

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I ponder this

Something is amiss

In my head and in my heart

Something’s tearing me apart

29 and can’t find love at all

Am I cursed to sit against this wall

That I cannot break free from

My heart beats like a drum

To a somber tune

From January to June

From June to December

All I can remember is

That I’m without the other

And as another year passes

I feel it slip away from me

The grand vision of love

I used to once clearly see

Now I think we can all concur

That instead of a face, a place, a true love

Even without tears streaming

All I can see, it’s completely a

Blur

Standing in the Rain

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Standing in the rain
So refreshing for the brain
The thrill of a flash flood
Right in front of my eyes
The cold, harsh drops are my demise
Yet still i stand and watch it go
Watch the clouds, dark and foreboding
Watch it go
In sequence and motion
Although i had a notion
The rain would be refreshing
I am numb
Thinking of the people i wouldn’t see
And the person I’ve become
Thinking I need more rain
More blurs of vision
More spattering harsh liquid on my face
More cold, more numb
Standing the rain
I begin to head home
The rain picks up suddenly
And I race for warmth
Standing in the rain

Bookends

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I cry far too much

My face swollen with tears

My heart throbbing with hurt

You cannot cry and so

You envy me

And I don’t know why

But I want to know what hurts you

What deeply harms your soul

I want to help you feel okay, make you feel whole

I want to know what scares you

I want to help chase your fears far away

Why you can’t cry

Why I cry way to much

And yes, crying occasionally is helpful

Crying to much is truly not

As you point out

“I guess we are bookends”

Breaking through the Cage

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Huge windows and haunting walls

Enclose me in misery

Everyone acts like they are in charge of my life

I scream so loudly inside my head that it throbs

I hide deep downstairs

But it doesn’t matter

Until I can leave, move to my own place

With my own things, my puppy, my own life

My vivid colors schemes, my greatest dreams

My kitchen utensils, my fluffy towels

My carpets, my choice!

They will continue to act

Like they have dominion over my soul

Trapped

Rage encompassing me

Hopelessness swallowing

Until I break free it’s my

Cage

Once I get hired and I can move out

I will dance about

I will sing and cry tears of joy

I will prance, dance, romance

I will pull apart the steel bars

And after telling everyone how much I love them

How I appreciate everything

But how I crave fresh air and freedom of choice

My own voice

I will walk free:

“I will breath in breath out

And tell you all of my doubts

Because everybody bleeds this way

Just the same” – quote from breath in breath out, Mat Kearney