Can you lead me to the light?

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So very Cold
Prick Prick Prick
Such deep Coughing
Sick Sick Sick
Trembling Sad
Weep Weep Weep
Sudden Noise
Creep Creep Creep
Intense Fear
Yell Yell Yell
Blazing Sad
Hell Hell Hell
Daylight?
You? You? You?
Is it you?

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I’ll make you whole

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That pain in your eyes has been there for days.
I don’t want to ask, I’ll just get in the way.
The pain in your eyes it reflects on the lake
That anguish I wish so badly I could extract and take
Turn it to ice and let it shatter
Because after it melts it simply won’t matter
It will seep deep into the earths cracks and flow far away
While my hand in your hand will stay
I will listen if you need me.
I’ll stay silent if you don’t,
But if the pain becomes too much
Please express it how you want to,
And judge you, I won’t.
I will do anything to comfort that which takes such a heavy toll
And with all the love contained in my being ill fill the cracks in to make you whole

Where I’m From (according to my 18 year old self)

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I’m from corduroy jackets and denim jeans.
Running water and yellow Gatorade.
Sometimes when it rains for the window panes never lie,
I’m from wet sidewalks and damp fur.
If Scrabble is out and music pulses through my heart,
Then you know that’s where I’m from.

On occasion, if thunder and lightening lurk near,
The warm covers of my bed
Along with an old movie are where I’m from.
Warm pizza and Coca-Cola,
As well as silent laughter of a close friend are where I’m from.
When you can fall asleep to the cites
Of a fantasy land with a glass castle-
That is me.

I’m from oil paintings of mysterious night skies-
The kind of creases that fascinate my fingers.
The love and joy that I possess flows every so slowly
Onto the canvas before I am even awake.
When the lighthouse I’ve portrayed jumps off the page,
That’s where I’m from.

Every so often Harry Potter casts a spell on my world,
And nothing precious to me can be taken away.
My senses celebrate the magic I nourish them with,
For although they cannot tell a soul, they keep my treasures safe.

I’m from scraped knees and bruised shoulders.
One kiss and it is all better.
Where I’m from, long walks on the beach
Make for pleasant conversation.
“Mine the darkness and see the path you leave behind.”
Sometimes there is darkness in the distant trees,
But when the night sky is shimmering with shooting stars,
That’s where I’m from.

The place where I often dwell is in the front yard with all my flowers.
My lungs praise the October air, and the leaves delight my vision.
Sparkling bubbles from the fountain drizzle onto my body-
That’s where I’m where.

A stream of conscious sensation   

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The extreme, powerful, self destructive, limitless, smothering, and abundance of love:
Sensation.

Its grasp for better or worse you cannot escape

Angry, rage, happiness, bliss, lust, love, end.

A perfectly shocking range in changes of sensations

Spectrums, rainbows

Feelings that will beat you black and blue

And all the other colors in between just as vivid

Leaving marks on your heart
The condensation of emotions are
Waters droplets of pure
Jubilation and utter aghast
And penetration of a feeling
Coming through

Many levels and kinds of feelings

Such Powerful Feeling
Its implodes my senses and I’m almost numb

The passion the pain flows freely
From each and every one of my cells
Visually sensation explodes in my brain
The art work created causes arguments in my brain.

Sensation

 

Sleep seems inconceivable

But I must sleep

Sensations heartlessly pounding at my brain

All fives sense slammed by this coming hug

 

His smell

His touch

Taste?

Sound?

That’s my preparation for sensation

My own interpretation

 

Struggles to sleep
Odd sensation of the wanting of what you simply cannot having
Grasping for food, sleep, love, survival
The ability to exist
And be happy in your mere existence
So tiny yet so remarkable you are
Millions of individuals

Billions!
Feel sensation
An algorithm should be created to
Amass all the sensation.
How can actually I express all the sensations I feel with words?

Language is so unbelievably inadequate.

Touch of hot or cold
Shockwaves sent from my hand to my brain
Touch of love
A simple hug is much more complicated when I feel love
It came, as if from a dream…

Butterflies flutter tumultuously in my stomach
Burning urges cause flames
Flames of passion
Sometimes the embers die
The love, tainted or gone
And the charred remains of
My body remain
But the memory of that sensation
That hug…

Seeing that charming painting
Wearing that warm, comfortable dress

Smelling that delicious coffee

Hearing the birds way off in the distant

Tasting that chocolate cake
Sensation

Sensationalism
The media of shocking information
The exaggeration of images
Confuse and fascinate at the same time.

Then there is love.
The paradox of love and being loved
I have loved with my whole heart
Now my heart is filled with holes
The not being loved back was so painful
The accusations of never caring were the worst
I at least wanted him to know I loved him
That would be enough
It would have to be.
But, it was not meant to be.
For now I have sensations of love towards things like coffee.
Or my family.
Or God.

Friends, Shimer, and Falafel, all sensational things.
They are different times for, different types of sensation
All senses are involved

Trying to awake from a deep sleep

Trying to come back from a dream

Trying to escape slumber and excite my real senses
My brain and body want different things

One waits stillness, the other wants movement

Struggling to wake up

The shock of no longer dream land
A most odd sensation …

Stream of Conscious Sensation

Standard

The extreme, powerful, self destructive, limitless, smothering, and abundance of love:
Sensation.

Its grasp for better or worse you cannot escape

Angry, rage, happiness, bliss, lust, love, end.

A perfectly shocking range in changes of sensations

Spectrums, rainbows

Feelings that will beat you black and blue

And all the other colors in between just as vivid

Leaving marks on your heart
The condensation of emotions are
Waters droplets of pure
Jubilation and utter aghast
And penetration of a feeling
Coming through

Many levels and kinds of feelings

Such Powerful Feeling
Its implodes my senses and I’m almost numb

The passion the pain flows freely
From each and every one of my cells
Visually sensation explodes in my brain
The art work created causes arguments in my brain.

Sensation

 

Sleep seems inconceivable

But I must sleep

Sensations heartlessly pounding at my brain

All fives sense slammed by this coming hug

 

His smell

His touch

Taste?

Sound?

That’s my preparation for sensation

My own interpretation

 

Struggles to sleep
Odd sensation of the wanting of what you simply cannot having
Grasping for food, sleep, love, survival
The ability to exist
And be happy in your mere existence
So tiny yet so remarkable you are
Millions of individuals

Billions!
Feel sensation
An algorithm should be created to
Amass all the sensation.
How can actually I express all the sensations I feel with words?

Language is so unbelievably inadequate.

Touch of hot or cold
Shockwaves sent from my hand to my brain
Touch of love
A simple hug is much more complicated when I feel love
It came, as if from a dream…

Butterflies flutter tumultuously in my stomach
Burning urges cause flames
Flames of passion
Sometimes the embers die
The love, tainted or gone
And the charred remains of
My body remain
But the memory of that sensation
That hug…

Seeing that charming painting
Wearing that warm, comfortable dress

Smelling that delicious coffee

Hearing the birds way off in the distant

Tasting that chocolate cake
Sensation

Sensationalism
The media of shocking information
The exaggeration of images
Confuse and fascinate at the same time.

Then there is love.
The paradox of love and being loved
I have loved with my whole heart
Now my heart is filled with holes
The not being loved back was so painful
The accusations of never caring were the worst
I at least wanted him to know I loved him
That would be enough
It would have to be.
But, it was not meant to be.
For now I have sensations of love towards things like coffee.
Or my family.
Or God.

Friends, Shimer, and Falafel, all sensational things.
They are different times for, different types of sensation
All senses are involved

Trying to awake from a deep sleep

Trying to come back from a dream

Trying to escape slumber and excite my real senses
My brain and body want different things

One waits stillness, the other wants movement

Struggling to wake up

The shock of no longer dream land
A most odd sensation …