Running through my mind

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I swallow water
Half a glass
And I take off
I race towards you
I can’t catch you
But I will
As you cross
Traverse
And stampage through
For so long
I will keep pace with you
I will embrace you
Because it’s you
That’s been running through my mind

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Sweet lullabies of love

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I pull on my Valentine’s Day sweater with care

The one with different colored lipstick kisses that makes me smile

I paint my nails a deep red

I send out wishes to all my family

I eat my oatmeal

Love my body with goodness

That’s my Valentine’s Day

I am grateful that I have so much love in my life

And one day soon

I will swoon

Over him

And my Valentine’s Day

Will include a romantic dinner

Roses or lilies

And most importantly

Someone that loves me with their entire heart

We will cuddle we will kiss

The won’t be a hint that I miss

We will romance

We will dance

We will appreciate the little things

We will hear our hearts sing

Sweet lullabies of love

Dreaming of you

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I’m hearing voices hushed
I’m seeing oceans of red
All my siblings and family members
Wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day
But in the depths of my heart
You are somewhere right now
But not with me
We haven’t met yet
I already dream of your eyes
I already dream of your smile
I already dream of your kiss
I already dream of the sweet nothings
That mean everything
I want to be happy on this day
But it’s terribly hard
When my heart’s flown away
I couldn’t keep it at bay
No matter what I do
My heart is out there floating
Dreaming of you

The only witnesses of our first kiss, the glitter makes me shiver

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Meandering thoughts converge

Across the glistening snow

Painted across my mind

The glitter makes me shiver

It’s such beauty to behold

Fresh snow makes everything seem possible

As I’m spinning between constellations and dreams

I see you, across the fresh snow

You are the epitome of my dreams

You walk slowly toward me

I want to run to you

But I’m frozen in place

Like the ice stinging my face

Then as quickly as you came

You are gone

I wasn’t fast enough this time

I curse myself for the failure

But hope overwhelms me and

Glancing over once again

You are there again

You must have disappeared beyond the shadows

This time I blast towards you

I won’t let you slip away

As tired thoughts melt

We hold each other at last

The haunting glow of the snow

The shadows that surround us

The lines of clouds are the only

Witnesses of our first kiss

I explain to myself so many times

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I explain to myself so many times
I won’t miss you anymore
Gotta let go sometime
But since I told myself some many times
And specifically, I wouldn’t miss you
All I have wanted to do since that time
Is kiss you…
When I told myself 1000 times before
I won’t miss you.

I thought telling myself so many times
This one white lie was acceptable, then became smudged with tears
Because trying to not miss you anymore
Is like giving up food or breathing!
I lost count how many lies I told myself.
But now an aged snapshot
Brings the tears blowing back.
That most painful day
Wearing a dress and mask but no one knows
What’s behind it, not even me.
When I told myself an infinite amount of times
I simply won’t miss you
I will dismiss you from my life,

Instead this year,
I told myself so many times to avoid
For that will lead to forgetting you entirely;
You can’t miss someone you don’t remember
But this too was in vain
There are no short cuts, no way to invent a cure for one-sided love.
For telling myself so many times
I won’t miss you was a colossal lie.
Missing you I’ve run my tears dry.
Friendship is maintainable.
But love not attainable
Because I said I won’t miss you

I did.
Someone else received your devotion
She gets all the things
I imagined.
Because in trying not to miss your presence
I missed your courtship.
Perhaps the biggest mistake in my life was never telling
You that I simply cannot go a day without thinking about
How amazing we could be.
Instead unfinished sketches of tomorrow sit at my desk tonight.
Of the things I thought of you and the things you think of me
All because I tried to fog you out.
I fell even more deeply in
Now, I think I’ll try being around you without
Giving it all away,
Besides if you loved me
You would have done something about it
Somewhere along the way.
I will still always have a place for you, for missing you
For how even though you tear my life neatly apart,
Your existence is embedded somewhere deep in my heart.

I can’t say goodbye

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I don’t know if we should be together
As hard as I try
As many times as I’ve done it
I can’t say goodbye
You mean too much to me
To disappear from my life
Truly I hoped I’d one day be your wife
We come to an impasse
Sometimes at night
But despite all the trouble
We get through a difficult fight
If even in the morning
I wake up distressed
Your good morning message
Leaves my mind beyond impressed
Who could have ever guessed
A little thing that you do
Like telling me to make sure I eat
Would make me fall for you?
You told me of road trips, and hiking
All the fun things we could do
Although sometimes I fight it
Although it feels like maybe it’s not right
To my delight
You don’t give up on us
So I won’t even try
Because the way my heart longs for each breath
Each moment
I can’t say goodbye to you

Brush it off, and recall – These poems, these memories

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These poems these memories
They boil up with me
Sending me nostalgically
Into what I want to be
Blending words like chemistry
Expressing my life into an expository
Talking about things
Talking about flying with my pair of wings
Talking about new beginnings
Old endings
The reals and the pretend endings
Talking about acting like yourself
Not like anyone else
I dive off the edge
I smash into the ledge
I brush off the pain
I look for whom to blame
And someone who can tame
The wild within me
Before I turn this into the never-ending story
I’ll sign off, still seeking eternal glory!