Maddening Intensity of Calm and Ease

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I leave the car slowly and
I see you, it’s you… and I feel butterflies
I feel a sense of anticipation.
We embrace and we walk towards the restaurant
I feel each step as I walk next to you
It feels natural, like we’ve walked together before
Except we haven’t
We smile and walk up to the counter
Breathe in…
You ask, Do you know what you want?
I say Yes, I always get the same thing.
You glance the menu and we order.
Breathe out…
We wait a long time for our food.
But I feel it.
Standing there.
Glancing at you.
I feel stillness.
I feel calm.
I feel peace.
I feel traquail next to you.
I breathe nice and even breaths. I smile. I laugh.
We talk through the evening and it’s so nice.
I feel calm sipping tea and I listen to you.
I appreciate your casual attire.
It calms me.
I dressed up too much…
It feels effortless being with you.
I don’t feel maddening intensity except I do.
I feel maddening intensity of joy.
Maddening intensity of calm and ease.
Of our first meeting.

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Scattered Soul

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Pieces of my soul
Float around the earth
Wondering constantly
About their worth
The truth is
Alone or together
They are priceless
I run endlessly
Soaking up my soul
There are cracks in it
In my beautiful soul
Somewhere out there is the love
That will fill in the creases
And solidify my soul
With his soul
Until
It’s smooth and whole
Until then,
Can you give my scattered soul a chance?

Self-destruct

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You gave me all the love
All the love
In your quiet, subtle way
That’s why it meant so much
Although different worlds
Different views
Different accents
Different beds
Different skies
Different states
You listened to me
You were patient
You tried to push me
To get closer
You opened up to me
I freaked out
I ran away
I fell on my face
Now far from grace
I’m so blue
Trying to get close to you
Am I even breathing?

You are the reason

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Everyday I wake
A huge breath of fresh air I take
I think about you when I am up
Colliding thoughts of us
I make such a fuss
Of showering, brushing teeth, cleaning the house
But when I think of you
I’m calm
It washes over me like a calming wind
Because I know in my heart
The reason I smile all the time
The reason I jump out of bed
The reason I’m myself
Or a better version of myself
The reason I’m giddy
I’m a million things at once
I’m a wild rush
I’m madly in love
I’m a mess
But I’m happy
I hope you are too
Because I love who I am
And You
You are the reason

Sweet lullabies of love

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I pull on my Valentine’s Day sweater with care

The one with different colored lipstick kisses that makes me smile

I paint my nails a deep red

I send out wishes to all my family

I eat my oatmeal

Love my body with goodness

That’s my Valentine’s Day

I am grateful that I have so much love in my life

And one day soon

I will swoon

Over him

And my Valentine’s Day

Will include a romantic dinner

Roses or lilies

And most importantly

Someone that loves me with their entire heart

We will cuddle we will kiss

The won’t be a hint that I miss

We will romance

We will dance

We will appreciate the little things

We will hear our hearts sing

Sweet lullabies of love