Broken static: Will you change your mind?

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The want of you
The constant swarming thoughts of you
The warming of my heart when you laugh
The warmth of your words
Washing over me

It
It rotated inside me
It rolled and rolled
It verged on too much

But once I asked you
Once I was honest with myself
And you in turn were honest with me
The static inside my brain burst

And the thoughts that followed
Swam through my mind
All night long

I like you
And you like me
But I like like you
And you just like me

Will you change your mind?
You make my waiting feel shorter
But should I do that?
Should I wait?

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Because I love you not just more, but the most.

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I loved football
You loved soccer
We teased each other
About which sport was better
Now that you are gone
I’m broken and would give anything
To change what happened between us
I would agree to your movie
Agree to your restaurant
Agree to soccer being better
Although I love football with all my heart
Somehow, I love you so much more
I would give football up
If I could have you
It would hurt me terribly
It would be very sad
But losing you hurts so much more
I would give up all my books too
And I love them like they are my skin
Giving them up would hurt like fire
But it still wouldn’t hurt as much as losing you did
So I would give everything and anything
Because I love you not just more, but the most.

Regret

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I go left.
She veers rights
Out of my mind
Out of her fury
Burst the reasons
Granted they are irrational
Foolish to my dismay

But day and night
I chop the wood
That is the flame
That she ignites.
No understanding
On either side
Tears, sadness, and a
House too sparkling,
Too silent, not a pleasant silent either
A throbbing, swelling lump in your throat
A loss for words of any kind
A loss for an answer I need, but can’t find

Lost forever in hurt and desperation
Lost forever in poor translation
I go left.
She veers right.
Waves are crushing the shores
Against my hopes, another fight
Another set of stale tears
And burning regret
And answers far away
Ones I haven’t found yet…

The Abyss

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It’s when I finally think everything is fine

After I awake and I start my Wednesday…

I look up and realize something terrifying

Blackout, I blacked out from anxiety

Even though the sun barely had time to hit my eyes

Half an hour has passed like a minute

I want to take the hand that’s offered by my friend

And hold on so incredibly tight

I wonder about this next level anxiety

Falling into an actual abyss

I wonder if I’m being tested

So I furiously clean, clean, clean

Fear fainting again, fear the blackout, fear missing class

But mostly, I fear being swallowed up by the abyss

So I make a plan, make phone calls, I struggle to pray

And consider that there’s time I cannot account for

It’s too much to analyze

So I make some coffee

Maybe I can just wish it away…

 

Good Luck

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Grinning from ear to ear

It’s just your voice I hear

I look at you and cannot cease

Your smile soft, full of peace

There is so much that I can’t say

Instead I stare at you kinda sideways

We always discuss things before class

My mind just shatters like glass cuz

I know unless I make a move

We will never have a chance

At some overrated not understood

Version of romance so

I smile back and hope that

You break your vow

Of silence and continue your advance towards me

I waiting now

You eyes they sparkle

Like frost and glitter

So I will write bad poetry

And fantasize about being held in your arms

Until the 12th of December you have

When term ends

Good Luck