Full moon

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As I got out of the car

Last night

I stared up into the sky

It was after 9

I knew you’d be out

Through the lush trees

Real beauties

I saw your powerful glow

I was taken aback

Staring at it

Wondering who else is looking at

The moon, the way I am

Baywatch: A total letdown

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This review will be brief because I truly don’t want to spend more time on this film. I know King Arthur was voted the first big flop of the summer but I would argue (while I haven’t seen it) that Baywatch was the biggest flop of the summer. This movie tries too hard to be funny and I sat there staring at my watch thinking, am I really seeing what I am seeing. Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron both disappoint and I have seen them in other films. The scripts were pretty lame, and neither character has much depth to them. Truly, I felt that there was no substance to this movie. It objectives women and the plot makes little to no sense. Okay, the plot actually makes zero sense. All the characters were pretty flat. I know this will sound harsh, but I felt like I was watching the idea for a film, and not an actual finished production. It was very sloppy, not funny, and very cheesy (and not in a good way). All I can suggest at this point is that you don’t see this movie, in theaters or otherwise.

I would recommend Wonder Woman instead. (See my review of that epic and brilliant film)

Throwback Thursday: Something I found in a journal from a decade ago

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I was madly out of my mind with love… And after all the lazy days and being friends, after I walked around my final weeks as a senior year as an android. I was in SO much pain. I was numb. I cried myself to sleep. Food had no taste. I did not feel physical pain any more. I hammered my hands to a bloody pulp in crew one day before I noticed they were bleeding at all. It was an accident, I just remember seeing my hands and thinking what have I done? Then I felt surges of pain, my hands begging choking why? What is going to happen to me? Will I always be half a soul? I was DEAD inside. And for years I went over every detail like that would help. Like it would go back and erase everything if I just think really hard, close my eyes. I would strip off all my clothes. I would feel the cold swallow my naked body. Be naked. Fold those clothes nicely in a pile, take a hot bath, and when I got out every thing in the world would fix itself. I would dry off with a velvety soft purple towel, lotion my body, brush my now silky hair, put on my favorite comfy clothes and pretend nothing’s happened. It is toxic. It is the absolute worst kind of poison for your body. It will make you either strong or break you! It destroyed me. It corroded my brain. A wind storm blew the files of my brain and scattered them around. Razor blades tore up any belief or hope I had for love. Like being stoned to death. Or drinking bleach. Or falling off a cliff. I do not trust anyone. Anyone! I was a ghost in a beautiful world but I did not see any beauty. I saw ugly. I regret allowing myself falling into this pit of hurt and I could not climb out. Just kept digging and digging until I could not hear or see anything. Then I dug a little more. My private place. Any relationship I have, I do not know what to think when a guy says something. What does it mean? I see visions of Keith in my head. Visions. Spinning, dizzy visions. Penetrating my mind, burning a hole in reason. Playing like skipping CDs. Like broken blades of a blender spinning. It is as if I am watching a horror movie and I cannot close my eyes. I cannot beg for help. The guitar and the painting with me. The comfort of clanking tools. Now? If I ever see him again I feel wobbly the whole day. One time so far and let me just say no thank you. And cannot sleep, because I feel like I did something to deserve this. I didn’t, but I know that kind of pain where you want to be locked in a tower. An unforgiving tower. And burn it to the ground while still inside. Dark. Lonely. Frigid.  Like stabbing pains.  In my mind, it’s still a blur. Spinning. Screaming. Blurry. Foggy. Prick, Prick, Prick. Little Stabs. Prick, Prick, Prick, Prick.

Worth the Wait: Wonder Woman, an inspiration! 

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When I entered the theater to see Wonder Woman I didn’t know my expectations would be exceeded so much. This movie I declare as a remarkable hit and has great life lessons beyond the magic of the theater. The movie Wonder Woman was so inspirational and absolutely brilliant. I was completely blown away, from the beginning where young Diana begins her training to going to the front to save people from suffering in the world to end all wars once she grows up and is faced with real danger. Not just because it shows woman kick butt. But because of how the iconic character of Wonder Woman brought to life by Gal Gadot. The dialogue was really well done, and Chris Pine was able to create a great character in Steven. His pack of misfits that he brings on the journey are also well developed. The movie is packed with action and brilliant cinematography. The scenes with the bath from Diana’s native land, juxtaposed with the battle scenes later in the film show the remarkable range this movie has. It’s extremely witting, intelligent, and entertaining. She says, “I’m willing to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves”. In this way and many others, Diana shows cunning, caring, and strength. When she is questioned, she says “I am man.” This sends a powerful message to all women about the strength that we do have as women that we need to embrace and harass to make the world a better place. Just because we cannot save the world like Wonder Woman because we don’t have her powers, doesn’t mean we can’t still to great things as regular people making a difference as strong, courageous women. The work that is so often done by men is done by one woman in this movie, and it demonstrates how that can translate to real life. We need to ignore those who believe we can’t and prove them wrong with actions, like Wonder Woman does over and over. It goes without saying that I say, Wonder Woman is a 100% worth seeing! I give it two thumbs up!

Breath

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I dream of perfect nights and perfect days

When you leave me in a stupor, in a haze

Where you sweep me of me feet

Your heart so genuine and sweet

As you go in for our first kiss

I would be remiss

If I were to dismiss this

Right before our lips touch

Your smooth even breath

If we weren’t right for each other

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Maybe we weren’t right for each other

But why do I feel this way inside?

I felt like if I saw you,

Part of me would want to hide

I wouldn’t want to be around

A person I loved so much

But when I tried to be close to you

It seemed you didn’t want my touch

After all the things that have happened,

The new guys, the dates

For some reason it’s for you I wait

Is it a mistake that I want to see you again

One more time

To know for sure that

That you would change on a dime

Is not realistic

But why do I miss you so much sometimes

If we weren’t right for each other?

High on the List of things I hate (Throwback)

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High on the list of things I hate

Broken rulers, being dreadfully late

Burning something or worse leaving it uncooked

Going to a hotel only to find out they’re booked

Self- help books and a huge flood

When my brand new shoes get caked in filthy mud

 

Cruelties towards an animals or human soul

Finding out your favorite team lost by one goal

When your dress tears apart at the seams

You wish that it was a sequence of bad dreams

(Yes I even hating the wishing, the lies we have to tell ourselves to stay okay)

When nature’s fury causes us to question our fate

These are high on the list of things I hate

 

When you end up questioning everything you’ve ever done

If you have not, it is time you’ve begun

When you look in the mirror and

You truly don’t love it, you take your hands and pray

When you have a craving for something and the store is fresh out

When you’re baby cousin does nothing but screech and shout

 

But something I don’t hate per say but

Something that makes me cry when it occurs this way

Is when I am sad

And no one knows why

Instead of advice or comfort of any kind

They sit there stuck on rewind

No knowing that the only thing worse

Then any problem, burden or curse

Is facing  this world alone