Maddening Intensity of Calm and Ease

Standard

I leave the car slowly and
I see you, it’s you… and I feel butterflies
I feel a sense of anticipation.
We embrace and we walk towards the restaurant
I feel each step as I walk next to you
It feels natural, like we’ve walked together before
Except we haven’t
We smile and walk up to the counter
Breathe in…
You ask, Do you know what you want?
I say Yes, I always get the same thing.
You glance the menu and we order.
Breathe out…
We wait a long time for our food.
But I feel it.
Standing there.
Glancing at you.
I feel stillness.
I feel calm.
I feel peace.
I feel traquail next to you.
I breathe nice and even breaths. I smile. I laugh.
We talk through the evening and it’s so nice.
I feel calm sipping tea and I listen to you.
I appreciate your casual attire.
It calms me.
I dressed up too much…
It feels effortless being with you.
I don’t feel maddening intensity except I do.
I feel maddening intensity of joy.
Maddening intensity of calm and ease.
Of our first meeting.

Advertisements

Words Rupture Bone

Standard

Earth shattering screams erupt
Disrupting my current turmoil
But it’s all quiet
Just disaster in my mind
Everyone is talking to me
Pulling me every which way
Giving me advice
I am drowning in words
That aren’t my own
I want to put a seal around my heart
To protect it
I would like time alone
Not to feel lonely like I often do
I want the stillness of alone
The calm of quiet
Words rupture bones
And tear at scars
But not me
I’m letting my mind
Drown out their words
Others can suffocate in their own advice
But not me
The storm clouds rain despair
Upon my unsuspecting heart
Me

Scattered Soul

Standard

Pieces of my soul
Float around the earth
Wondering constantly
About their worth
The truth is
Alone or together
They are priceless
I run endlessly
Soaking up my soul
There are cracks in it
In my beautiful soul
Somewhere out there is the love
That will fill in the creases
And solidify my soul
With his soul
Until
It’s smooth and whole
Until then,
Can you give my scattered soul a chance?

Fragments of Us

Standard

To all my old lovers

I dream of you
I think of you
I drink you in
Til poison burns my skin
I think of you at night
When I’m most lonely filled with fright
To my delight
I can block you out
Until I no longer think of you
And all the heartless things you’d do
How can it be
That all my old lovers
I think of you often
When I should not
Because I know in my heart
It was not my fault
But I blame myself anyway
I see fragments of us…